The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I’m Joe Cohen, taxi driver, of Noo Yawk City." St. Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." The taxi driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it’s the minister’s turn. He stands erect and booms ... read more

Why don't men like to drink coffee at work? It keeps them awake.

How many mexicans does it take to build... Oh shit, They're done!

I like a big, strong, hardworking man, a man who wakes up early in the morning eager to work hard. I'm talking day-in and day-out just working and sweating and sweating and working, and when it's all over, he showers and goes to his job.