YO MAMA IS SO STUPID SHE GOT FIRED FROM A BL*W JOB.

"What are you doing there?" "I'm making something." "What are you making?" "A bomb." "Can I help?" "Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."

When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.

A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day, the wife asked her husband, "Honey, one of the bathroom pipes is leaking. Could you fix it?" The husband looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like Mr. Plumber?" A few days went by, and his wife asked for a favor. "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" "What do I look like Mr. Goodwrench?" A couple weeks later, the wife found a leak in the roof. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof. Can you please fix it?" "What do I look like Bob Vila?" He sat down with a beer and wa ... read more

Q: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A: They can both smell it, but can't eat it.