How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

what do black people and bicycles have in common? They only work with a chain on.

Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter.

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer enquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you ... read more

Programmer. A machine that turns coffee into code.