When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.
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Algorithm. Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.
 2240
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A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roo ... read more
 1389
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Coworker: Can you help me with this project? Me: The short answer is no. Coworker: What's the long answer? Me: Nooooooo.
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How many mexicans does it take to build... Oh shit, They're done!
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