Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.

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Why are niggers like sperm? Only 1 in a Million actually works .

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Q: Why did the programmer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays.

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Q: What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile? A: A taxi.

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There were two security guards who worked on opposite shifts, but looked after the same building. Over a period of a year, the night shift security guard noticed that his opposite was putting on weight. So one evening at shift change, the night shift security guard says to the day shift security guard "Hey buddy, you aint half gettin fat". To which the day shift guard replies "Yeah, that's because every time I shag your wife she gives me a chocolate biscuit".

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