Why are niggers like sperm? Only 1 in a Million actually works

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I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.

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Boss comes up to an employee: "Yesterday you did a great job - in one day you managed to do as much work, as you did in previous month!" "Thanks boss, that's because Facebook was shut down for the whole day."

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When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.

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Cindy asked an old friend to go out for a drink with her after work. I don't understand, Cindy complained. When people find out I'm a lawyer, they take an instant dislike to me. Why would they do that? Her friend appeared to think for a moment and then suggested, Maybe it just saves time.

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