Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris? The only good news is you know when you will die.

Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.

Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God… “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call. I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. In your case, I’m going to let you decide where you want to go!” Bill replied, “Well, thanks, God. What’s the difference between the two?” God said, “I’m willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help y ... read more

What happens to black people after they die? Nigger Mortis.

When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.