Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.

Q: Did you hear about the Hungarian who thought his wife was trying to kill him? A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Hungarian Remover".

Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)

James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.

The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Smith's mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Smith, your mother died, report to the commander." Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Smith his mother died. Coul ... read more