First man: "I follow the medical profession." Second man: "Are you a doctor?" First man: "No, I'm an undertaker."

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My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.

 3193

6  

Who's the biggest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.

 1353

2  

Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.

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Chuck Norris's kill ratio on Call of Duty:Black Ops is infinity.

 521

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