Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here! Cop: Okay, calm down. Where are you? Blonde: The cemetery! Cop: *facepalm*

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If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.

 483

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Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris? The only good news is you know when you will die.

 207

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How did Captain Hook die? He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!

 931

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The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

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