Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.

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Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago? Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....

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What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times? Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.

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If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."

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A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, "1 enemy ship on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die." So the watchman comes to him and asks, "Why did you want your red shirt?" The captain says, "Because if i get injured they won't see and keep on fighting." So the watchman comes to him again and says, "20 enemy ships on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."

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