Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.

 229

0  

The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.

 161

0  

Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris? The only good news is you know when you will die.

 209

0  

A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean. Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef. They start debating how to open the can without can-opener. Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it. Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire. Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."

 315

0  

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.

 249

0