Two chemists go into a restaurant. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.
 975
0  

A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
 705
0  

There was a blonde who tried to hang herself and a diffrent blonde came in and saw her hanging from her stomach and said," your supposed to hang yourself from your neck. And she said," i tried that but i couldnt breath.
 199
0  

"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
 81
0  

When I die, I wanna go like my grandpa... peacefully... sleeping... unlike the passengers in his car.
 381
0