If you write the Death Note on Chuck Norris, the Death Note dies.

The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.

Did you hear about the black guy that died on the highway? He stuck his head out the window and his lips beat him to death.

A man is out walking in New York when he sees a girl being savaged by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by beating about the head with a stick and saves the girl's life. The girl's mother rushes over to him: "Thank you, thank you, you are a hero, tomorrow all the newspapers will have headlines about Brave New Yorker Saves the Life of Young Girl" "But I'm not a New Yorker," the man says. "Oh, then it will say in all the newspapers Brave American Saves Life of Young Girl," says the mother. "But I'm not an American," the man says. "What are you then?" asks the mother. "I'm an Iranian," ... read more

Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.