Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.

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How do you kill 10,000 Mexicans? Throw a peso over a cliff. How do you kill 10,000 more? Tell them nobody got it.

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Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.

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Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.

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"Dad, I don't want to go to school today." said the boy. "Why not, son?" "Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day." "But why don't you want to go today?" "Because our English teacher died yesterday!"

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