We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
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Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
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Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain saw." From the back of the courtroom a man shouts, "You lying bastard!" "Silence in the court!" The judge turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel." "You tightwad!" blurts the spectator. "Quiet!" yelled the judge. "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill." "You cheap son of a... " the spectator starts to shout. The judge thunders back, " I will hold you in contempt! What is the reason for your outburs ... read more
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