Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"

Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.

Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.

When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.

An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again. He told Dispatch, "Don't worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!" In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the r ... read more