Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

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The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

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Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.

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Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew.

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A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver. She says "I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be to ass. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single.Can you fulfill my wish?" "Yes" says the bus driver and fulfills her wish. Feeling guilty he says "I'm sorry I lied, I'm married with 3 kids." "Thats ok" replied the nun "I lied too." "My name is Kevin and Im going to a fancy dress party."

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