There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but nothing compared to you.

Q: Why is horse racing so romantic? A: Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye.

If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.

An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking. They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman's apartment. After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed. Afterward, they're both laying there, staring at the ceiling. The old man is thinking, “Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.” The old lady is thinking, “Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties.”