If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.

Remember your wife is a romantic who still loves flowers and chocolates. Show her you remember as well by referring to them occasionally.

Q: Why is horse racing so romantic? A: Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye.

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweller inquired, "Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?" Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, "No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'." The jeweller smiled and said, "Yes, sir; how very romantic of you." Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, "Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again."

A teenager is a hopeless romantic who never falls in love more then twice a week.