Three boys walk through the woods and suddenly hear cries for help. They follow the sound to the lake and see George W. Bush drowning. The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore. Bush asks the boys how he can repay them. The first boy says, "I want a boat." The second boy says, "I want a truck." The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone." Bush asks, "Why is that?" The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."

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After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".

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Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.

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How has Jesse Jackson lost the vote of most niggers? He promised to create jobs for them if elected.

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Q: What's the difference between death and taxes? A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.

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