The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.

The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem. He was told by his boss to lay off one of his employees, either Mary or Jack. His choice was a tough one because Mary had been a devoted employee for 10 years and Jack was a fine worker who had a family to support. At night, the VP tossed and turned in his sleep trying to decide which of his employees he would lay off. Finally he decided, the first one to come to work tomorrow would be the one. Morning finally comes and the VP waits at the office for one of the two employees to arrive. At 8:55 Mary walks into the office. "I'v ... read more

Yo mama's so fat that even Barack Obama couldn't afford to take her out to dinner.

Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Just one, but millions volunteered to get rid of anything dark

Q: In what way are Democrats more generous than Republicans? A: Unlike Republicans, Democrats are not only generous with their own money, but also with other people's money.