Q: Why do they say elephants never forget? A: They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.

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Abraham Lincoln can finish a play better than the 2013 Broncos.

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Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.

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Religion is a lot more like politics. The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.

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Two politician are having lunch together, all of a sudden one stood up and shouted, "Your lying." The other replied, "I know but just hear me out."

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