Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet? A: A free for all.

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When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.

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Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.

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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.

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Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can’t do this – I’m a US Congressman!" "In that case," replied the robber, "Give me MY money!"

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