Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat. The government hates competition.

Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot? Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"

Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a pig ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn’t. The pig was killed. The President told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened. About an hour later the driver staggers back to the car with his clothes in total disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and smiling happily. “What happened?” asked the President. “Well,” the driver replied “the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their bea ... read more

Yo' Mama is so fat, politicians fight over redistricting her ass.

Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds? It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.