Chuck Norris doesn't vote. He elects!

 307

0  

Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day? A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.

 2217

1  

A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise."

 2120

1  

What did Barack Obama become after his forty-seventh year? "Forty-eight years old."

 514

0  

Yo mama's so fat that even Barack Obama couldn't afford to take her out to dinner.

 523

0