Q: What is a Democratic Free Market? A: One that hands out slices of cheese.

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A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party: "What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked. "Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied the lawyer. "What do you do?" The minister replied, "Oh, more or less the same. Let me give you an example. The other day I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said 'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go."

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It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on the same plane. The plane crashes. Who survives? America.

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Q: How do you know that Democrats are a diverse people? A: Because they keep count of how many people they know in each racial or ethnic category.

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