Q: What is the difference between a dogs ass and liberals? A: Nancy Pelosi won't kiss a dogs ass!

God called Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates to come to a conference. And when they were all there, God said, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The bad news is that I'm really fed up with the way things are on Earth; so, I've decided to destroy it. The good news is that I'm giving you one week's notice." So, Bill Clinton called into session the joint houses of Congress and announced, "I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is there is a God. The bad news is that he's going to destroy the Earth in one week." Boris Yeltsin called into session the Commun ... read more

When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.

Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal? A: Due.

Q: What is a Democratic Free Market? A: One that hands out slices of cheese.