In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test, and said, "Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests." Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it. "Well, said Mr. Johnson, I was looking over your test and the question was, 'Who was our first president?', and the little girl that sits next to you, Mary, put 'George Washington,' and so did you." "So, everyone knows that he was the first president." "Well, just wait a minute," said Mr. Johnson. "The next question was, 'Who freed the slaves?' Mary put Abraham Lincoln and so ... read more

A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: "Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?" Pres says "You think we’re stupid boy?" "We made copies of all the receipts!"

A reporter asked Chris Rock who do you think would win the presidency? He said quickly Obama. When asked why, he replied, has anyone ran a race with a Kenyan and won?

Yo' Mama is so fat, politicians fight over redistricting her ass.

A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?