Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.

Q: Why do they say elephants never forget? A: They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.

Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife? When she spread her legs he saw bush.

Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.

Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried. "My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!" "Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President. "I do need your help" said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms as soon as possible to tide us over?" "Why certainly! I'll get right on it,"said Bush. "Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin. "Yes?" "Could the condoms be red in col ... read more