Two politician are having lunch together, all of a sudden one stood up and shouted, "Your lying." The other replied, "I know but just hear me out."

If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.

Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a pig ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn’t. The pig was killed. The President told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened. About an hour later the driver staggers back to the car with his clothes in total disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and smiling happily. “What happened?” asked the President. “Well,” the driver replied “the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their bea ... read more

Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three. One to hire a Mexican guy and two to deport him when he's done.

Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.