Three boys walk through the woods and suddenly hear cries for help. They follow the sound to the lake and see George W. Bush drowning. The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore. Bush asks the boys how he can repay them. The first boy says, "I want a boat." The second boy says, "I want a truck." The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone." Bush asks, "Why is that?" The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."

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It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

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The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day. Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.

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Q: How do you keep a Republican busy for a week? A: Turn on the spell checker.

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A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?

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