Seen in a bar near here: "We don't stand in your toilet, so please don't pee on our floor!"

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A ham sandwich walked into a bar and the bartender said: "We don't sell to ham sandwiches." But the sandwich replied: "That's okay, I only want a beer."

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A preacher goes into a bar and says "Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up." Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says "My son, don't you want to go to heaven when you die?" The drunk says "When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking a load up now."

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It’s people that give drinking a bad name.

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I certainly do not drink all the time, I have to sleep you know.

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