A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and asks the barman “Can I have a drink for me and one for the road?”

There was once a man who was in a bar, terribly drunk. The bartender noticed this, and when he asked for another beer, the bartender politely told him that he was too drunk to be served another drink. The man leaves. He walks in the side door and asks the bartender for a beer. A little frustrated, the bartender repeats the answer he said before. The man leaves. He then comes in the other side door, walks to the bartender and asks for a beer. The bartender is annoyed, and tells the man he is too drunk and to get a ride home and leave his bar. He leaves. He then comes in the BA ... read more

"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?" "A Budweiser in each hand!"

Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

We call my father-in-law the exorcist. Every time he visits he rids the house of spirits.