Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night, look at the moon." The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. "You're wrong, that's not the moon, that's the sun." They began to argue when they come upon another drunk. They asked, "Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?" The third drunk looked at the sky and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."

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Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common? A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!

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Why did Tom come home drunk and leave his clothes on the floor? He was in them.

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Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive.

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A stewardess approaches a passenger on a flight. ‘Would you care for an orange juice, sir?’ The passenger replies, ‘Sure, if it needed me.’

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