A guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" She yells, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people resp ... read more
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I drink to steady my nerves. Last night I got so steady I couldn’t move.
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Q: Why doesn't Simon Cowell drink whiskey? A: Because it makes him mean!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ''Pint please, and one for the road.'
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Q: What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much? A: A beer-a-cuda!
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