Q: What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public? A: A private tooter.

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If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.

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regular ass (_!_) fat ass (__!__) tight ass (!) flat ass (_._) bubble ass (_^_) sore ass (_*_) lop-sided ass (_!__) swishy ass {_!_} surprised ass (_o_) ass that's been around (_O_) kiss my ass (_x_) leave my ass alone (_X_) tired ass (_zzz_) wise ass (_o^o_) unlucky ass (_13_) money out the ass (_$_) dumb ass (_?_)

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Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight? Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board, and I'll sit on the couch while drinking beer and farting.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, when she farts, it comes out at the ankles of her tight-ass jeans.

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