I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

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Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.

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Q: Why do farts smell? A: So deaf people can enjoy them, too.

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Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.

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Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"

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