Yo' Mama is so nasty, when her dog farts, she takes the credit.

Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.

Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

You are so old, you fart dust.

One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems okay but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again, she seems okay but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning ... read more