I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

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What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's grosser than that? Catching the bubbles with your teeth.

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Yo mama is so old, that when she farts all that comes out is dust.

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I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.

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Q. What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator? A. A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.

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