Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.

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Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.

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Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

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Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."

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Q. What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator? A. A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.

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