If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.

Fart Glossary: ART FART= it's such a beauty you want to immortalize it on canvas. ARROGANT FART= When you think your farts don't stink. ASSUALT FART= A sudden attack that shoots virtual flames out your arse. TIRE FART= You can't control the blow out. BEER FARTS= These come out of every 'can' and smell like warm beer. JAIL FART= Been doing time inside you for quite awhile, and finally makes its great escape. DONKEY FART= Your ass is the only one that can do it. GHOST FART= You can't hear it, you can't see it, and you can't smell it. HOME ALONE FART= When you're home alone and a great ... read more

Yo' Mama is so fat, when she farts, it comes out at the ankles of her tight-ass jeans.

Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom? They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.

How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart? Her ears flap.