Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.

This man goes to confession and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned." The priest asks if he would like to confess his sins and the man replies that he used the "F-word" over the weekend. The priest says, "Oh okay, just say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language." The man replies that he would like to confess as to why he said the "F-word". The priest sighs and tells him to continue. Well father I played golf on Sunday with my buddies instead of going to church. The priest says, "And you got upset over that and swore?" The man replied, "No, that wasn't why I swore. On the ... read more

Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste?

Yo' Mama is so nasty, when her dog farts, she takes the credit.

I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.