If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.

Q: Why do farts smell? A: So deaf people can enjoy them, too.

A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant. The doctor says, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?” The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of Baked Beans, would you know which bean made you fart?”

What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's grosser than that? Catching the bubbles with your teeth.

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.  The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire." The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." Th ... read more