The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes. St. Peter: "What do you want? " Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus." St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "

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Q: Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible? A: He thought he saw a job.

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The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.

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Q: Who was the smartest man in the Bible? A: Abraham. He knew a Lot.

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A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."

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