When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.

 1439

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I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.

 1776

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Doctor: "Yes, what is it I can do for you?" Blond: "Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body’s blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn’t anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?" Doctor: "The fact’s your legs are not that hollow as your head is."

 803

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I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."

 1662

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What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.

 1647

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