In the beautiful world of fantasy, holding hands is the first sign of true love. In college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their own.

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The teacher brings a statue of Venus into class and asks, “What do you like best about it, class? Let’s start with you, Robert.” Robert: “The artwork.” Teacher: “Very good. And you, Peter?” Peter: “Her tits!” Teacher: “Peter, get out! Go stand in the hall! And you, Johnny?” Johnny: “I’m leaving, teacher, I’m leaving…”

 227

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The teacher said to Danny: "Why are you in the floor?" Danny said: "Because you said to do this Math problem without Tables."

 206

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Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!

 221

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"Dad, I don't want to go to school today." said the boy. "Why not, son?" "Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day." "But why don't you want to go today?" "Because our English teacher died yesterday!"

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