What did the music teacher need a ladder for? To reach the top notes.

Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school. When he reaches his classroom he looks inside and sees a sub instead of his regular teacher. Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is Ms. Prussy. Not the other word, this word has an r after the first letter.” Johnny started laughing. An hour later he forgot her name and said, “Your name has an r after the first letter is it Ms. Crunt?”

Teacher: “If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?” Boy: “Seven!” Teacher: “No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?” Boy: “Seven!” Teacher: “Let’s try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?” Boy: “Six.” Teacher: “Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?” Boy: “Seven!” Teacher: “How on earth do you work ... read more

Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening just as they have done for the past 50 years. Gus, the elder, had been having problems remembering what cards were what, and usually needed help from his wife. At the end of the card game Red said to Gus, "You did very good tonight. You didn't need any help at all. Why is that?" Gus replied, "Why, ever since my wife sent me to that memory school, I haven't had any problems at all." "Memory school? What memory school?" Gus thought for a moment, "Oh, what's that flower that's red with thorns? A really pretty flower..." "A rose?" a ... read more

You know your f*cked when the Asian says, "shit", during the test.