Johnny's father: "Let me see your report card." Johnny: "I don't have it." Johnny's father: "Why not?" Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

John: Knock, knock. Justin: Who’s there? John: Gladys. Justin: Gladys, who? John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!

Joey and Katie are sitting in school. Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question. "Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?" Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil. "Jesus Christ almighty! !" Exclaimed Katie. "Correct." Says the teacher. So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up "Who created Heaven and Earth?" Katie (Again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil "Jesus Christ almighty!" she exclaims. "Correct again." Says the teacher. So the next day, for a 3rd time, The teacher asks Katie "What did Eve say to Adam when she ... read more

Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t". Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.

Q: What comes before 8? A: My school bus usually.