The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’” A small voice from the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; she’s still old, nasty, and wrinkled”

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Ms.Battle: Henry, I hope I didn't see you copying Casey's math test. Henry: I hope you didn't either.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."

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An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.” “I’m surprised,” said the owner. “I’ve never taught that bird to swear.” “Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor. “But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”

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What's a skunk's favourite game in school? Show and smell.

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