Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher? Cheryl: I don’t know. Phil: He has only one pupil.

Teacher: Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory? Student: I don’t know. Why? Teacher: Because you can’t concentrate!

A gentleman wanders around the campus of a school looking for the library. He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?” The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!” The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, “I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, idiot?”

Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, "Dad, tomorrow there's a special 'Adults' evening' at school. Daddy is surprised, "Really? Special?" "Yes," nods Johnny, "it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers."

When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.