Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t". Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "It's because yer feet ain't empty."
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Teacher: "I will call your parents!" Elementary student: "No! I’ll be a good boy!" Junior High School Student: "Pffff… Anyway…" High School Student: "Send my mother my greetings!"
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How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.
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Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You told me not to use tables.
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