Johnny's father: "Let me see your report card." Johnny: "I don't have it." Johnny's father: "Why not?" Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

 446

0  

"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."

 172

0  

Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70? A: Because 69's a mouthful.

 181

0  

The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.

 263

0  

Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”

 456

0