Yo Momma so stupid, she thought seaweed is something fish smoke.

Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.

A woman goes into a store to buy a fishing rod and reel. She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a store employee standing there with dark shades on. She says, "Excuse me sir... can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says , "Ma’am I’m blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn’t believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said "That’s a 6′ graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line... It’s a good all aroun ... read more

Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.

I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.