What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam.

Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."

Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.

Chuck Norris found Nemo with his eyes closed.