One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"

 434

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam.

 347

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Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked: "What are you up to there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died", replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned: "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied: "That's because he's inside your fucking cat."

 877

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What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.

 439

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Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.

 390

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