Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’? A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.

 548

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Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.

 1445

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A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."

 587

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In what type of weather is the vet the busiest? When its raining cats and dogs.

 847

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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought Meow Mix was a rap CD for cats.

 697

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