Q: What has two legs and bleeds? A: Half a cat.
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Bears do not eat bears. Tigers do not eat tigers. Dogs do not eat dogs. Cats stopped eating kebabs.
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How do you know if an Asian robbed you? Your homework is done and cats gone.
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Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back, For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I pray I'll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule To never tell a human that The world is really ruled by cats!
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How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'
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