What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!

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If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.

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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought Meow Mix was a rap CD for cats.

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A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."

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How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'

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