Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
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Q: What has two legs and bleeds?
A: Half a cat.
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Q: How are women and a hurricane alike?
A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
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A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle."
His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..."
He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"
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In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
