A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle." His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..." He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"

 739

1  

The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and make sure that's your pa in there."

 1867

1  

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.

 746

0  

Q: Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court? A: For kitty littering.

 1130

0  

If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.

 331

0