What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward? It ends up in his mouth.

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Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.

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I stopped at a friend's house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly-swatter. When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: "Yeah, three males and two females." Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference. He said: "Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone."

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Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under? A. Because deep down he's a good person.

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How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

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