A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, "1 enemy ship on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die." So the watchman comes to him and asks, "Why did you want your red shirt?" The captain says, "Because if i get injured they won't see and keep on fighting." So the watchman comes to him again and says, "20 enemy ships on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."

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Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? So they can find their way back to the house.

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How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

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Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds? A. Bonds mature.

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Q: Why are men so happy? A: Because ignorance is bliss.

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