A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent. "Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, "what’s on the top of a house?" "Roof!" the dog replies. "Oh, come on..." the talent agent responds. "All dogs go ‘roof’." "No, wait," the guy says. He asks the dog "what does sandpaper feel like?" "Rough!" the dog answers. The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience. "No, hang on," the guy says. "This one will amaze you. " He turns and asks the dog: "Who, in your opinion, was the great ... read more

Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom? To keep the swelling down.

Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:None, the sockets go with the house.

Men come in three sizes: Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.