Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex?

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What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.

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A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog. One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite?" The man replies, "No my dog doesn't." The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man. "Thats not my dog", replied the other.

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How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.

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What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.

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