A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight. "I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor. I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?" "Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative. Please take off your clothes." The man strips down. The doctor pulls all his skin upwards and ties it in a ball above his head. "But doctor -- now my navel is in the middle of my forehead!" "True," replies the doctor, "and you should see what you have for a collar and tie."
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Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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How can you tell if a man is aroused? He's breathing.
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Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing.
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Why do men like masturbation? It's sex with someone they love.
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