Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.

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HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN Arrive naked... with beer.

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Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee.

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Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.

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Why do men name their penises? Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.

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