How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.
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Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
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Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.
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A man is talking to God. "God, how long is a million years?" God answers, "To me, it's about a minute." "God, how much is a million dollars?" "To me, it's a penny." "God, may I have a penny?" "Wait a minute."
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Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.
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