Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom." The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him. The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?" The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."

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What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1) No mind. 2) No business.

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Q: What is the difference between a puppy and a man? A: Eventually the puppy will grow up and stop whining.

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How do you know a man is really a bad dancer? When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.

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