A man goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce dangling from his rectum. "That looks nasty," says the doctor. "Nasty?" the man says. "That's just the tip of the iceberg."

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Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under? A. Because deep down he's a good person.

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What's the difference between a man and an ox? Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.

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My Dearest Susan, Sweetie of my heart. I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so. Yours always and truly, John P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.

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How are men and parking spots alike? The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.

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