There were three guys in a bar. Two are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives. The third remains silent. After a while, one of the first two turned to the third and says, "Well... what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?" "Well, on our honeymoon, I made damn sure my wife came to me on her hands and knees," he bragged and took another sip of beer. His friends were amazed! "What happened then?" they asked, almost in unison." "Well, then she said, "Get the hell out from under that bed and fight like a man!" he admitted.

How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares?

How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.

Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.

What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay? "Brace yourself, Sheila."