Chuck Norris found the stairway to heaven, but he prefers the elevator.

Joey and Katie are sitting in school. Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question. "Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?" Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil. "Jesus Christ almighty! !" Exclaimed Katie. "Correct." Says the teacher. So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up "Who created Heaven and Earth?" Katie (Again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil "Jesus Christ almighty!" she exclaims. "Correct again." Says the teacher. So the next day, for a 3rd time, The teacher asks Katie "What did Eve say to Adam when she ... read more

Are you lost, ma'am? Because Heaven's a long way from here.

In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was Made in China.

Yo mama is so fat that when she died jesus couldn't lift her soul to heaven.