Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Q: Why do police dogs lick their balls? A: To get the taste of negro out of thier mouths

This guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the mutt replies. "So, what's your story?" The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was o ... read more

Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.