A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking his balls. He turns to the bartender and says, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The Bartender replies, "You'd better try petting him first."

A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog. After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man. However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner. The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction. He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him. The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash. He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck. By now, the man is getting depressed and frustrated. ... read more

Q: What is the difference between a dogs ass and liberals? A: Nancy Pelosi won't kiss a dogs ass!

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road? The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.

Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.