Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
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A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, "Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please". The barman says, "Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!" The dog replies, "Why? Do they need electricians?"
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Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.
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Q: Why do dogs lick their balls? A: Because they can. Q: So why do they stick their noses in women's crotches? A: Same reason.
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A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
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