What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road? The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.

 301

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Three guys compare their levels of intoxication from a party the previous night. The first guy says, "Man, I was so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks." The second guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I woke up this morning on my front porch." The third guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I took a prostitute home to my wife." The first guy exclaims, "You guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"

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Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you... This is life of a dog.

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Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.

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