Question: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? Answer: The dog, because he’ll shut up after you let him in.

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.

Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.

A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright, but after a few months he gets lonely. The pig starts to look more and more attractive, soft, pink flesh, round buttocks. But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg. Very frustrating. One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconsc ... read more