Yo' Mama is so nasty, when she walks the dog, they both use the same bush.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

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Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.

 324

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Question: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? Answer: The dog, because he’ll shut up after you let him in.

 409

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A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking his balls. He turns to the bartender and says, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The Bartender replies, "You'd better try petting him first."

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1