A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking his balls. He turns to the bartender and says, "Boy, I wish I could do that." The Bartender replies, "You'd better try petting him first."

 473

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road? The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.

 382

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

 517

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What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.

 429

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How do you make a cat be a dog? Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match. It will go 'WOOF.'

 628

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