I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
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Q: What is the difference between a dogs ass and liberals? A: Nancy Pelosi won't kiss a dogs ass!
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How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? The dog plays with it more.
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A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!". The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"
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Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
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