Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road? The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.

In what type of weather is the vet the busiest? When its raining cats and dogs.

A mother is making a cake for her three sons when she accidentaly dropps some BB from the shelf into the batter. She decides that it won't matter and continues to make the cake. Later that day, her sons eat the cake and don't even notice the BBs. The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, "Mom, mom, I pissed out a beebee!" She says "That's okay, son. I accidentaly dropped some beebees into the cake batter. You'll be fine." Five minutes later, one of the other sons, come running in and he says, "Mom, mom, I.." But the mother cuts h ... read more

Bears do not eat bears. Tigers do not eat tigers. Dogs do not eat dogs. Cats stopped eating kebabs.