Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
 1653
1  

A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!". The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"
 435
0  

How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.
 322
0  

Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!
 363
0  

Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you... This is life of a dog.
 3095
1