What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road? The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

A doctor, an architect, and an attorney were dining at the country club one day, and the conversation turned to the subject of their respective dogs, which were apparently quite extraordinary. A wager was placed on who had the most intelligent dog. The physician offered to show his dog first, and called to the parking lot, “Hippocrates, come!” Hippocrates ran in, and was told by the doctor to do his stuff. Hippocrates ran to the golf course and dug for a while, producing a number of bones. He dragged the bones into the country club, and assembled them into a complete, fully articulat ... read more

Yo' Mama is so nasty, when her dog farts, she takes the credit.

Question: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? Answer: The dog, because he’ll shut up after you let him in.