Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"

How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters? All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.

What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.

So, a gay man goes to church one Sunday. As the offering basket is passed, he drops in a big wad of bills. When the basket gets back to the minister, he notices the wad of money and announces: "Someone here was very generous in the offering today. I would like to ask the person who gave this large amount of money to please stand." The gay man stood up. The minister continued, "Well, sir, we certainly do appreciate your generosity. And to show our appreciation, I'm going to let you select your three favorite hymns." "Okay," the gay man replied, "I'll take him, him and him!"

Q: Which is better, being born black or gay? A: Black, because you don't have to tell your parents.