My boss doesn't believe money equals happiness. So instead of raises, he gives us Prozac.

 931

0  

The clerk walks into the boss's office and says, "The auditors have just left, sir." "Have they finished checking the books?", asks the boss. "Very thoroughly," is the reply. "Well, what did they say", says the boss. "They want 15% to keep quiet."

 18671

12  

"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once, I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!

 2039

5  

If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.

 857

0  

When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.

 726

1