When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.

 835

1  

My boss doesn't believe money equals happiness. So instead of raises, he gives us Prozac.

 1108

0  

I asked the boss if I could get a raise, and he said, "Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment." I said, "I don't get it." He said, "That's right."

 893

0  

Office executive "Sir, can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?" Boss "Certainly not!" Office executive "Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be understanding."

 2520

1  

Don't stand around doing nothing. People will think you're the boss.

 828

0