HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’

 586

0  

A boss has to fire one of 2 workers, Jack and Jill. However, Both Jack and Jill are skilled workers and he is finding it really, really difficult to pick. So after their shifts, Jack goes home before Jill does, and the boss goes over to Jill just before she gets into her car. He informs her of his dilemma. "Hey Jill, I have a problem." "Ok Boss, what is it?" she asks "I Can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off, what would you suggest?" "Well, you'd better get the vasoline, i'm going home!"

 29880

9  

Don't stand around doing nothing. People will think you're the boss.

 721

0  

The clerk walks into the boss's office and says, "The auditors have just left, sir." "Have they finished checking the books?", asks the boss. "Very thoroughly," is the reply. "Well, what did they say", says the boss. "They want 15% to keep quiet."

 18667

12  

My boss doesn't believe money equals happiness. So instead of raises, he gives us Prozac.

 928

0