A hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear. He carries his trusty 22-gauge rifle with him. After a while, he spots a very large bear, takes aim, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear is gone. A moment later, the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, “No one shoots at me and gets away with it. You have two choices: I can rip your throat out and eat you, or you can drop your trousers, bend over, and I’ll [insert appropriate colloquialism for sodomy here].” The hunter decides that anything is better than death, so he drops his trousers and bends over; and the bear does ... read more

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

The judge: Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association? The inculpated: Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?

Chuck Norris is a hunter. But Chuck Norris does not hunt. That implies the possibility of failure.

A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.