Today was my first day entering a court. The judge shouted “Order, Order!!” I was so excited, So I shouted back “fried rice with chicken, five bottles of beer and a chilled glass of special ice mineral water.” I am now locked up in a dark room. I am sure they will bring my order soon.

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A man was complaining to a railroad engineer. What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. The railroad engineer replied. How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?

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Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!

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I was in a cab today and the cab driver said, “I love my job, I’m my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do.” Then I said, “Turn Left”.

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Today I saw two blind people fighting, then I shouted “I’m supporting the one with the knife”, they both ran away.

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