Wife: Look at that drunk guy Husband: Who is he? Wife: 10 years ago he proposed me and I rejected him Husband: Oh my God. He is still celebrating.

 1047

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I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead I bought a lottery ticket for a brand new car. When I got home explained to my dad what I did and he beat the crap out of me. But the next day, when my dad woke up and opened the door, outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried especially me, Because the car was from the electricity company, they were there to cut off the electricity. My dad beat the crap out of me again.

 408

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Once all the engineering professors were sitting in one plane. Before the takeoff, one announcement came “This plane is made by your students” Then all professors stood up, ran and went outside. But the principal was sitting. One guy came and asked, “are you not afraid”? Then the principal replied “I trust my students very well and I am sure the plane won’t even start”.

 410

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If a barber makes a mistake, it’s a new style If a politician makes a mistake, it’s a new law If a scientist makes a mistake, it’s a new invention If a Taylor makes a mistake, it’s a new style If a teacher makes a mistake, it’s a new theory But, if a student makes a mistake, it’s a Mistake.

 394

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On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed. "What's the matter? Are you sick?" "No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing."

 795

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