Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd."

 969

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Interviewer: Do you speak English? Applicant: Yes Interviewer: Name? Applicant: Gurmeet Ram and from India Interviewer: Sex? Applicant: Three to five times a week. Interviewer: No, no… I mean male or female? Applicant: Yes, male, female, sometimes Pig. Interviewer: Holy cow! Applicant: No Cow she is our mother and we drink her piss. Interviewer: But isn’t it hostile? Applicant: Horse style, doggy style, any style! Interviewer: Oh dear! Applicant: No, no! Deer runs too fast.

 990

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THE BIGGEST LIE Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?” One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.” “You should be ashamed of yourselves,” Said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.” The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

 503

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If a barber makes a mistake, it’s a new style If a politician makes a mistake, it’s a new law If a scientist makes a mistake, it’s a new invention If a Taylor makes a mistake, it’s a new style If a teacher makes a mistake, it’s a new theory But, if a student makes a mistake, it’s a Mistake.

 505

1  

A guy went for an interview at a big IT company for the position of “Computer Hacking Investigator” The boss asked him: So, what makes you suitable for this job? Well, he replied, I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview.

 544

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