John: Bro I’ve invited 17 people to watch a movie, would you come? Bro: ok John, but why so many people? John: Because the DVD said “Only 18+ viewers.” Bro: Wait, what?

 1015

0  

John: Do you have a girlfriend Harry? Harry: Yes John John: Nice. Where is she from? Harry: From a different nation John: Oh really? Which nation? Harry: From my imagiNATION.

 1004

0  

Graham Alexander Bell: I used to study under a candle William Shakespeare: I used to study under street light Mr. Bean: What did you guys do during the daytime?

 1023

1  

Doctor: I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live. Patient: What do you mean by 10? 10 what? Years? Months? Weeks?! Doctor: Nine.. Patient: What? Doctor: Eight..

 2037

1  

Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd."

 952

3