Once all the engineering professors were sitting in one plane. Before the takeoff, one announcement came “This plane is made by your students” Then all professors stood up, ran and went outside. But the principal was sitting. One guy came and asked, “are you not afraid”? Then the principal replied “I trust my students very well and I am sure the plane won’t even start”.

 525

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Son: Give me money for gym Mom: Will you become John Cena by going to the gym? Son: Am I becoming Einstein by going to school?

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My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day. He just kept whispering “yang qi guan” over and over and then died. I was very sad and Googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”.

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Interviewer: Do you speak English? Applicant: Yes Interviewer: Name? Applicant: Gurmeet Ram and from India Interviewer: Sex? Applicant: Three to five times a week. Interviewer: No, no… I mean male or female? Applicant: Yes, male, female, sometimes Pig. Interviewer: Holy cow! Applicant: No Cow she is our mother and we drink her piss. Interviewer: But isn’t it hostile? Applicant: Horse style, doggy style, any style! Interviewer: Oh dear! Applicant: No, no! Deer runs too fast.

 989

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Boy: Hey, you look so beautiful Girl: Aww. Thank you. I don’t know what to say. Boy: Just lie something, like I did.

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