Interviewer: Do you speak English? Applicant: Yes Interviewer: Name? Applicant: Gurmeet Ram and from India Interviewer: Sex? Applicant: Three to five times a week. Interviewer: No, no… I mean male or female? Applicant: Yes, male, female, sometimes Pig. Interviewer: Holy cow! Applicant: No Cow she is our mother and we drink her piss. Interviewer: But isn’t it hostile? Applicant: Horse style, doggy style, any style! Interviewer: Oh dear! Applicant: No, no! Deer runs too fast.

 937

0  

Son: Give me money for gym Mom: Will you become John Cena by going to the gym? Son: Am I becoming Einstein by going to school?

 943

0  

A man meets an accident with his new Ferrari. A policeman arrives. Man: (Cried) Officer! My brand new car! Police: You’re such a materialistic person. You even haven’t notice that your left arm has been cut off. Man: (He looks at his left arm and yells) OMG! My Rolex watch!

 960

0  

If a barber makes a mistake, it’s a new style If a politician makes a mistake, it’s a new law If a scientist makes a mistake, it’s a new invention If a Taylor makes a mistake, it’s a new style If a teacher makes a mistake, it’s a new theory But, if a student makes a mistake, it’s a Mistake.

 474

1  

I was in a cab today and the cab driver said, “I love my job, I’m my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do.” Then I said, “Turn Left”.

 506

0