On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?"
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing."
858
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Wife: Look at that drunk guy
Husband: Who is he?
Wife: 10 years ago he proposed me and I rejected him
Husband: Oh my God. He is still celebrating.
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My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital.
I went to see him the next day.
He just kept whispering “yang qi guan” over and over and then died.
I was very sad and Googled his last message after the burial.
Apparently, it means “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”.
453
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Mom: Do you think I’m a bad mom Jimmy?
Son: Mom, my name is Jack!
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A: "Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo?"
B: "No, I'm sorry I don't."
A: "Well, it's two blocks this way, then one block to the left."