A guy went for an interview at a big IT company for the position of “Computer Hacking Investigator” The boss asked him: So, what makes you suitable for this job? Well, he replied, I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview.
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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd."
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Grandfather: When I was your age, I used to go to the market with two Rupees and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, ghee, face powder etc. Grandson: nowadays it is difficult. There are CCTV cameras everywhere.
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A: "I was born in California." B: "Which part?" A: "All of me."
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I visited my EX girlfriend and she gave me food. After a few second their dog came in and started to jump over and I said “this dog loves visitors” A child replied, “No! No! Uncle, the problem is that you are using its plate”.
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