Teacher: Anyone who thinks he’s stupid may stand up! *Nobody stands up* Teacher: I’m sure there are some stupid students over here! *Little Johnny stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny you think you’re stupid? Little Johnny: No… I just feel bad that you’re standing alone.

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I was in a cab today and the cab driver said, “I love my job, I’m my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do.” Then I said, “Turn Left”.

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd."

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A: "Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo?" B: "No, I'm sorry I don't." A: "Well, it's two blocks this way, then one block to the left."

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Salesgirl: Sir No smoking in the shop Man: But I purchased cigarette from your shop. Salesgirl: Sir we sell condoms too.

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