Difference between a beautiful night and a horror night. Beautiful night is, When you hug your teddy bear and sleep. Horror night is, When your teddy bear hugs you BACK.

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Grandfather: When I was your age, I used to go to the market with two Rupees and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, ghee, face powder etc. Grandson: nowadays it is difficult. There are CCTV cameras everywhere.

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Today I saw two blind people fighting, then I shouted “I’m supporting the one with the knife”, they both ran away.

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Interviewer: Do you speak English? Applicant: Yes Interviewer: Name? Applicant: Gurmeet Ram and from India Interviewer: Sex? Applicant: Three to five times a week. Interviewer: No, no… I mean male or female? Applicant: Yes, male, female, sometimes Pig. Interviewer: Holy cow! Applicant: No Cow she is our mother and we drink her piss. Interviewer: But isn’t it hostile? Applicant: Horse style, doggy style, any style! Interviewer: Oh dear! Applicant: No, no! Deer runs too fast.

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Teacher: Can you see God? Student: No Teacher: Can you touch God? Student: No Teacher: Then there is no God Student: Ma’am can you see your brain? Teacher: No Student: Can you touch your brain? Teacher: No Student: Okay! No comments!!

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