My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day. He just kept whispering “yang qi guan” over and over and then died. I was very sad and Googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”.

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Interviewer: Do you speak English? Applicant: Yes Interviewer: Name? Applicant: Gurmeet Ram and from India Interviewer: Sex? Applicant: Three to five times a week. Interviewer: No, no… I mean male or female? Applicant: Yes, male, female, sometimes Pig. Interviewer: Holy cow! Applicant: No Cow she is our mother and we drink her piss. Interviewer: But isn’t it hostile? Applicant: Horse style, doggy style, any style! Interviewer: Oh dear! Applicant: No, no! Deer runs too fast.

 800

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If a barber makes a mistake, it’s a new style If a politician makes a mistake, it’s a new law If a scientist makes a mistake, it’s a new invention If a Taylor makes a mistake, it’s a new style If a teacher makes a mistake, it’s a new theory But, if a student makes a mistake, it’s a Mistake.

 406

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New Teacher: All students introduce your name and hobbies 1st boy: My name is Jack and my hobby is watching the moon. 2nd boy: My name is Dave and hobby is watching the moon. 3rd boy: My name is Patrick & my hobby is watching the moon. (All boys told their different names but the hobby was same) New Teacher: Good, all boys have the same hobby, Now its girl’s turn. 1st girl: Hi, my name is moon…

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Today was my first day entering a court. The judge shouted “Order, Order!!” I was so excited, So I shouted back “fried rice with chicken, five bottles of beer and a chilled glass of special ice mineral water.” I am now locked up in a dark room. I am sure they will bring my order soon.

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