An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?" "Yes, ma'am." "And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"

 736

0  

Yo' Mama is so skanky, her dildo came with jumper cables.

 536

0  

Dan staggers into the shower. He notices that his d**k is bright orange. He feels normal, but he's concerned and goes to the doctor. After a thorough examination, the doctor says, "You seem to be fine and all of the tests are normal. Did you do anything out of the ordinary over the weekend?" Dan says, "No. All I did was stay home, watch porno movies and eat Cheetos."

 651

1  

Q: How do you cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? A: Tell them you can't cum.

 40626

31  

What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroke-n-off

 547

0