Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.

Yo' mama so fat, she uses epileptic boys as vibrators!

What’s red, black, red, black, red, black, red and white? A nigger that’s masturbating himself!

Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind. Son: Dad im over here.

A cowboy rides in the desert and comes upon a Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm finding out the time -- it is 12:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and thinks, "Wow, it really is 12:15." The cowboy continues and sees another Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm seeing what time it is -- it is 3:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and that is the correct time. The cowboy continues and finds a third Native American lying naked on the ground, masturbating. ... read more