A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked. "You need to stop masturbating so much," the optometrist says. "Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make me go blind?" The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's making the other patients very uncomfortable."

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A father tells his son to stop jacking off. "You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says. The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."

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Yo' mama so fat, she uses epileptic boys as vibrators!

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Yo' Mama is so skanky, her dildo came with jumper cables.

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Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.

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