Sue and Sally were discussing their sex lives. Sue said, "Mine's OK. We get it on every week, but it's no big adventure. How's yours?" Sally replied, "It's great ever since we got into S&M." Sue was surprised. "Really, Sally, I never would have guessed that you'd go for that." "Oh, sure," says Sally, "He snores while I masturbate."

 517

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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

 456

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I met a girl who used masturbate to 2 girls 1 cup. And that kids, is how j met your mother.

 537

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While talking to girl: "Hey, I heard an interesting stat the other day. They said that 80% of women masturbate in the shower. Know what the other 20% do?" "No, what?" "Yea, I figured you were in the first group."

 572

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Q: What's the ultimate rejection? A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

 527

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