A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked. "You need to stop masturbating so much," the optometrist says. "Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make me go blind?" The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's making the other patients very uncomfortable."

 26073

9  

Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.

 575

0  

Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind. Son: Dad im over here.

 760

0  

A boss has to fire one of 2 workers, Jack and Jill. However, Both Jack and Jill are skilled workers and he is finding it really, really difficult to pick. So after their shifts, Jack goes home before Jill does, and the boss goes over to Jill just before she gets into her car. He informs her of his dilemma. "Hey Jill, I have a problem." "Ok Boss, what is it?" she asks "I Can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off, what would you suggest?" "Well, you'd better get the vasoline, i'm going home!"

 30070

9  

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

 712

0