On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!" "That's right!" shouted the little boy. Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!" "That's right!" shouted the little girl. The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, Little Johnny. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a d ... read more

The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink.

Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice. This chalice is now known as the holy grail.

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Always remember: There is not problem that 6 glasses of wine can't solve.