A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?" The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue." The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo." "Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away. The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car. "Hey, they're st ... read more

There are 4 guys in a car, 1 from Iowa,1 from Wisconsin, 1 from Florida, and 1 from Illinois. The guy from Florida says "I’m tired of seeing oranges everyday" so he throws some oranges out the window. So then the guy from Iowa says "I’m tired of seeing Corn everyday" so he throws some corn out the window. The guy from Wisconsin is very inspired so he opens the door and pushs the guy from Illinois out of the car!

One morning a boy walks in to class late His substitute teacher asks him "Where have you been" He replies "Throwing pebbles at a car" 15 minutes later a girl walks in the teacher asks 'where have you been' she answers "throwing pebbles at a car" 2 hours later a young girl comes in all bruised and dirty the teacher asks "Let me guess you were throwing pebbles at a car" she answers "No miss, I am pebbles"

I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.

When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train.