How many dead babies does it take to change a tire? Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.

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Chuck Norris uses an air bag... in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.

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"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?" "No." "Did he hurt the cows?" "No, he just grazed them."

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A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walk s to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.

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Yo momma so stupid she got hit by a parked car!

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