The car sped off the highway, went through the guardrail, rolled down a cliff, bounced off a tree and finally shuddered to a stop. A passing motorist, who had witnessed the entire accident, helped the miraculously unharmed driver out of the wreck. "Good lord, mister," he gasped, "Are you drunk?" "Of course," said the man, brushing the dirt from his suit. "What the hell do you think I am ... a stunt driver?"

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A bumble bee was chasing a rabbit. Finally the bee turned around and flew away. Why? The rabbit had two b's already.

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Much controversy surrounds Area 51, which is also known as Chuck Norris's playground. Those flying saucers are similar to our model cars and planes.

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A man finds a genie lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie comes out and says "I may grant you 3 wishes, but your wife gets double." The man wishes for a new car. The genie gives him a new car and the man's wife 2 new cars. The man then wishes for a new house. The genie gives him a new house and the man's wife 2 new houses. The man then says, "For my final wish, I wish to be beaten to half-death."

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Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

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