How many dead babies does it take to change a tire? Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.

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A guy's talking to a girl in a bar. He says, "What's your name?" She says, "Carmen." He says, "That's a nice name. Who named you, your mother?" She says, "No, I named myself." He says, "Why Carmen?" She says, "Because I like cars and I like men. What's your name?" He says, "Beerfuck."

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There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin

 400

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When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, she gets her nails done at the auto shop.

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