Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."

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Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.

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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

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Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

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Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? A: HeHe

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