Two chemists go into a restaurant. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.

 822

0  

An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.

 825

1  

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist? A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

 830

0  

Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here." Helium doesn't react.

 2005

1  

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

 837

0