Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For hispanic attacks.
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A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right.
The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.
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As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up:
Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.