A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"

 1224

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Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

 1332

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An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.

 835

1  

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist? A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

 837

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As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up: Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.

 1908

1