Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

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Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."

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Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? A: CSI

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Why did the Mexican take Xanax? For hispanic attacks.

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Q: What do you do with a sick chemist? A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

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