Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.

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Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!

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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

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Q: What do you do with a sick chemist? A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

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Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? A: CSI

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