Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.

 485

0  

As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up: Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.

 1906

1  

An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.

 832

1  

Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here." Helium doesn't react.

 2011

1  

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."

 814

0