Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.

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Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"? A: BaNa2

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Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here." Helium doesn't react.

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Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."

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Why did the Mexican take Xanax? For hispanic attacks.

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