Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
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As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up:
Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right.
The statistician yells "We got 'em!"