Two chemists go into a restaurant. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.

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Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here." Helium doesn't react.

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Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"? A: BaNa2

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An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.

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Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.

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