Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element. The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.

 2400

1  

Two chemists go into a restaurant. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.

 818

0  

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

 526

0  

An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.

 822

1  

Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!

 1511

2