Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

 1049

0  

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar? A: He got Avogadro's number!

 2034

5  

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? A: HeHe

 1067

0  

An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.

 903

1  

A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"

 1355

0