Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?"
The proton replies "I'm positive."
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3
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
955
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
846
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As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up:
Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.