Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

 954

0  

An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.

 834

1  

As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up: Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.

 1907

1  

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? A: CSI

 612

1  

Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here." Helium doesn't react.

 2012

1