As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up:
Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.
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Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?"
The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2
