Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

 912

0  

Money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element. The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.

 2355

1  

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

 502

0  

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

 1237

0  

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

 725

0