THE BIGGEST LIE Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?” One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.” “You should be ashamed of yourselves,” Said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.” The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

 449

0  

Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd."

 879

1  

James was walking down the road one morning when he met his friend Danny. "Morning, Danny. Er ... Danny, you're wearing a glove on one hand and none on the other. Did you know?" "Yes, well I heard the weather forecast this morning, you see." "The Weather forecast?" "Yes, the weather forecast. the forecaster said on the one hand it might be fine but on the other hand there might be some rain."

 238

0  

I was in 10th; she was in 10th. I was in 12th; she was in 12th. I got BSc; she got BSc I was doing MSc; she got married. I was preparing for JRF; she’s the mother of 1 child. I got Ph.D.; she’s the mother of 2 children. I am doing Ph.D.; her daughter is in 1st standard I became doctorate; her daughter is in 10th I have joined job; her daughter has joined college And the greatest Irony! Today is my engagement And her daughter is my fiancée.

 476

0  

A man was complaining to a railroad engineer. What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. The railroad engineer replied. How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?

 970

0