Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!
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Mom: Do you think I’m a bad mom Jimmy? Son: Mom, my name is Jack!
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A local barber in my area just got arrested for selling drugs. Blew my mind. I’ve been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.
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I visited my EX girlfriend and she gave me food. After a few second their dog came in and started to jump over and I said “this dog loves visitors” A child replied, “No! No! Uncle, the problem is that you are using its plate”.
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Wife: Look at that drunk guy Husband: Who is he? Wife: 10 years ago he proposed me and I rejected him Husband: Oh my God. He is still celebrating.
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