Tip to reduce weight: First turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right...Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat...

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Graham Alexander Bell: I used to study under a candle William Shakespeare: I used to study under street light Mr. Bean: What did you guys do during the daytime?

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A man meets an accident with his new Ferrari. A policeman arrives. Man: (Cried) Officer! My brand new car! Police: You’re such a materialistic person. You even haven’t notice that your left arm has been cut off. Man: (He looks at his left arm and yells) OMG! My Rolex watch!

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A boy goes to see a dance...His mom angrily asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see? Boy: yes, I saw dad!

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Salesgirl: Sir No smoking in the shop Man: But I purchased cigarette from your shop. Salesgirl: Sir we sell condoms too.

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