Today I saw two blind people fighting, then I shouted “I’m supporting the one with the knife”, they both ran away.

 482

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Girl: OMG, You look so much better when you don’t wear your glasses Boy: Well, You look better when I don’t wear my glasses too.

 1096

2  

I visited my EX girlfriend and she gave me food. After a few second their dog came in and started to jump over and I said “this dog loves visitors” A child replied, “No! No! Uncle, the problem is that you are using its plate”.

 694

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A man sees a fat man sitting in a train cabin...Taunting, he asks: Is this cabin for elephants only! Fat man humbly replies: No!Even monkeys like you can sit!

 239

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James was walking down the road one morning when he met his friend Danny. "Morning, Danny. Er ... Danny, you're wearing a glove on one hand and none on the other. Did you know?" "Yes, well I heard the weather forecast this morning, you see." "The Weather forecast?" "Yes, the weather forecast. the forecaster said on the one hand it might be fine but on the other hand there might be some rain."

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