John: Bro I’ve invited 17 people to watch a movie, would you come? Bro: ok John, but why so many people? John: Because the DVD said “Only 18+ viewers.” Bro: Wait, what?

Boy: (calls 911) Hello, I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what’s your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.

My Girlfriend broke up with me. She thinks that I am childish. So I calmed down, took a deep breath, went to her house, rang the doorbell and ran away.

ALCOHOL? What is that..?? Sorry, that's not in my "Vodkabulary", may be I should go look it up on "whiskeypedia"..!! He he he!!!!

Einstein: I will give you a question, and you will give a question to me as well. If you can’t answer my question, you will give me $1, and if I can’t answer your question, I will give you $1000 Mr. Bean: Okay Einstein: (Gives Mr. Bean a hard question) Mr. Bean: (Give $1 to Einstien) Einstein: Okay, now your turn. Mr. Bean: What is the animal that has 4 legs, and when he crosses a street he only has 2 legs, and when he goes back, he has 5 legs? Einstein: (Thinking very hard) I give up. I can’t answer that. (Einstein gives Mr. Bean $1000) Einstein: But what animal is that, Mr. Bean? Mr. ... read more