Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."

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Q: How do all stoner stories start? A: This one time when I was high...

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How do you suffocate a nigger? Tell him there's weed inside the pillowcase.

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Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.

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Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed? A: You can't smoke too much weed.

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