Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A: The cop!

Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"

A little lizard was walking through the forest to see his pal the monkey. The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great pot. So the little lizard climbed up the tree. The little lizard and the monkey smoked a great big joint. The little lizard said hey this stuff is great but I have horrible cottonmouth. Well there is a river just down there. So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water. All of a sudden a crocodile came out of the water. Hey little buddy waz up said the croc, "I just got stoned with my pal the monke ... read more

Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor? A: Drug Abuse.

Q: How do you know when you are stoned? A: When you are too phoned to stone home.