Q: How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad? A: I don't know! I've never had it longer than an hour!

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You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.

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Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"

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Q: What do you call money that grows on trees? A: Marijuana

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Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed? A: You can't smoke too much weed.

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