You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.

Q: How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad? A: I don't know! I've never had it longer than an hour!

Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"

I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal... When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.

There was three guys a sex addict a weed addict and a alcoholic they all went to hell for their sin and was standing in front of the devil. The devil made a deal with them saying I will lock you in a room with what ever you did for a 1000 years and if you get over any of your sins I will send you back to the land of the living, Earth. So the sex addict got locked in a room full of virgins, the alcohol addict got locked in a room full of beer, the weed addict locked in a room full of weed. 1000 years later the Devil goes to the sex addict he comes out saying "Aww my dick hurts I'm never h ... read more