Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor? A: Drug Abuse.

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Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"

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You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.

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Q: How do all stoner stories start? A: This one time when I was high...

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Q: How did the sand get wet? A: The sea weed!

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