A little lizard was walking through the forest to see his pal the monkey. The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great pot. So the little lizard climbed up the tree. The little lizard and the monkey smoked a great big joint. The little lizard said hey this stuff is great but I have horrible cottonmouth. Well there is a river just down there. So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water. All of a sudden a crocodile came out of the water. Hey little buddy waz up said the croc, "I just got stoned with my pal the monke ... read more

Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"

Yo mama so short when she smokes weed, she cant even get high.

Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed? A: You can't smoke too much weed.

Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.