Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"

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Yo Momma so stupid, she thought seaweed is something fish smoke.

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I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal... When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.

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Q: How do you know when you are stoned? A: When you are too phoned to stone home.

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Q: How do all stoner stories start? A: This one time when I was high...

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