How do you suffocate a nigger? Tell him there's weed inside the pillowcase.

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Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."

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Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school? A: Because they're all in high school

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You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.

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Q: How do you know when you are stoned? A: When you are too phoned to stone home.

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