Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"

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Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A: The cop!

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Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."

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Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed? A: Man, this music sucks.

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How do you suffocate a nigger? Tell him there's weed inside the pillowcase.

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