A little lizard was walking through the forest to see his pal the monkey. The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great pot. So the little lizard climbed up the tree. The little lizard and the monkey smoked a great big joint. The little lizard said hey this stuff is great but I have horrible cottonmouth. Well there is a river just down there. So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water. All of a sudden a crocodile came out of the water. Hey little buddy waz up said the croc, "I just got stoned with my pal the monke ... read more

You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.

Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.

Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed? A: Han So-high

Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school? A: Because they're all in high school