There are three moms. A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed" They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her. Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"

I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal... When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.

How do you suffocate a nigger? Tell him there's weed inside the pillowcase.

You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.

Q: How do all stoner stories start? A: This one time when I was high...