A little lizard was walking through the forest to see his pal the monkey. The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great pot. So the little lizard climbed up the tree. The little lizard and the monkey smoked a great big joint. The little lizard said hey this stuff is great but I have horrible cottonmouth. Well there is a river just down there. So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water. All of a sudden a crocodile came out of the water. Hey little buddy waz up said the croc, "I just got stoned with my pal the monke ... read more

I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.

How do you suffocate a nigger? Tell him there's weed inside the pillowcase.

Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school? A: Because they're all in high school

Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed? A: Man, this music sucks.