Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

 1082

0  

Two students talk: "What are you reading?" "Quantum physics theory book." "But why are you reading it upside-down?" "It makes no difference anyway."

 22376

3  

Q: Why did the computer go to the dentist? A: Because it had Bluetooth.

 1306

0  

How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles.

 421

0  

3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table.

 2053

1