Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

 1099

0  

Two kittens on a sloped roof. Wchich one slides off first? The one with the lowest mew.

 1092

0  

What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home? "Where on Earth have you been?!"

 541

0  

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

 965

0  

Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

 2797

2