Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

 2768

2  

Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right? A: 1.

 1420

0  

Two students talk: "What are you reading?" "Quantum physics theory book." "But why are you reading it upside-down?" "It makes no difference anyway."

 22362

3  

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

 1444

0  

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.

 841

0