Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

 1128

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How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles.

 444

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Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here." Helium doesn't react.

 2192

1  

3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table.

 2169

1  

Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? A: "First, YULE LOGon"!

 1911

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