A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her. She screams, "Nein!, Nein" So two guys walk away.

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A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

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Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks. The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here." The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is bloody low down"

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Little Johnny wasn't a very good at speller. One day, during a spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After thinking a few seconds, Johnny said, "Canoe?"

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Yo mama so old, I told her to act her own age and she died.

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