The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...

 1907

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Little Johnny wasn't a very good at speller. One day, during a spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After thinking a few seconds, Johnny said, "Canoe?"

 1031

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Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.

 820

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Why are niggers afraid of chainsaws? Because when you turn on a chainsaw it says "Run nigga nigga nigga Run nigga nigga nigga"

 891

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The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes. St. Peter: "What do you want? " Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus." St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "

 2111

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