Yo mama so old, I told her to act her own age and she died.

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Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college? A: "Would you like fries with that?"

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Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.

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Q: Why do Retirees smile all the time? A: Because they can't hear a word you're saying!

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Little Johnny wasn't a very good at speller. One day, during a spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After thinking a few seconds, Johnny said, "Canoe?"

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