The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...

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A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it. A little girl says, "Walt Disney World is fascinating." The teacher says, "No, I said, fascinate." Another little girl says, "There's so much fascination when it comes to sea life." The teacher again says, "No, the word is fascinate." Little Johnny yells from the back of the room, "My mom has such big boobs that she can only fasten eight of the 10 buttons on her shirt."

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Why are niggers afraid of chainsaws? Because when you turn on a chainsaw it says "Run nigga nigga nigga Run nigga nigga nigga"

 870

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Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.

 803

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Q: Why do Retirees smile all the time? A: Because they can't hear a word you're saying!

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