The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday.
I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
1877
0
Q: Why do Retirees smile all the time?
A: Because they can't hear a word you're saying!
844
0
The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes.
St. Peter: "What do you want? "
Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus."
St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "
2066
0
A man gets the words 'I love you' tattoed to his penis.
He goes home and shows his wife. His wife says, "Don't try to put words into my mouth!"
878
0
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman:
"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
