Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.

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Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks. The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here." The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is bloody low down"

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The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...

 1987

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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and he really needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled, "Teacher, Teacher, I have to go pee pee!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, you should be old enough to know that this is not the proper word to use?" "The correct word would be urinate." "Now Johnny, would you please use the word urinate in a sentence?" Little Johnny thought for a moment then said:, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a ten!"

 1050

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Q: What do you get when you cross a Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can't understand.

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