Yo mama so old, I told her to act her own age and she died.

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Little Johnny wasn't a very good at speller. One day, during a spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After thinking a few seconds, Johnny said, "Canoe?"

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Q: What do you get when you cross a Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can't understand.

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A man gets the words 'I love you' tattoed to his penis. He goes home and shows his wife. His wife says, "Don't try to put words into my mouth!"

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Q: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? A: A teacher.

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