Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.

Q: How long does it take a black lady to shit? A: About 9 months.

This mothers day, Men all around were criticized for not calling their mothers on such an important day. But me, I thought of the best way to get out of such a mess. Heres how the beginning of the Monday after Mothers Day went for me: Mother: "You know Mike, I was thinking and out of all my sons, you never called me on Mothers Day!" Me: "You know Mom, I was thinking, and out of all my mothers, you never called me on SON-day!" Something like this is bound to make her smile and forget, worked with my Mom!

Be careful never to let a blonde have a coffee break... It takes too long to retrain her afterwards!

Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus' time? A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.