Yo momma's so old if she were a car it would be time to roll back her odometer.

 12360

3  

Q: Why don't women wear watches? A: There's a clock on the stove!

 234

0  

A man calls his wife into the bedroom. "I want to show you the new watch I got today." She goes in and find him with his pants down. "That's not a watch!" she says. "It will be once you put two hands and a face on it."

 301

0  

A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up. He did the tests and waited. After a while, the doctor came in with the results. "Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You have really not much time to live.." "Doctor..! How much time do I have..?" "Ten..." "Ten what? Months? Years? What?!" "Nine...Eight...Seven..."

 346

0  

Wine improves with age – the older you get the more you like it.

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2