A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up. He did the tests and waited. After a while, the doctor came in with the results. "Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You have really not much time to live.." "Doctor..! How much time do I have..?" "Ten..." "Ten what? Months? Years? What?!" "Nine...Eight...Seven..."

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Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch? A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.

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I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."

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Bro, send me some good jokes. Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend. Good One! Send me more.

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Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.

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