What time is it when Chuck Norris knocks on your door? Too Late!

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage. "Look," she said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other." "You're wrong," the young man declared. "For the past 5 years I've been working in the bank where your father has his account."

Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less? A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.

Yo mama so fat when she tossed in her sleep she woke up in another time zone.

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.