I'm tired 8 days a week.

A teenager is a hopeless romantic who never falls in love more then twice a week.

Two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, he was a Widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another as the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, " Will you marry me?" After about six seconds of ' careful consideration' , she answered "Yes. Yes, I will. " The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. "Did ... read more

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine."

My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord From my trousers it would spring But now I've got a full-time job To find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues To see it hang its little head And watch me tie my shoes.