Question: What’s the best thing about a blow job?
Answer: Ten minutes of silence.
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2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world.
The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
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When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
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A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out.
A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"