Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.

Three men were walking along in the forest when they were captured by a group of cannibals. The king of the cannibals gives the three men a challenge "If you complete this challenge, you will go free, if not we will eat you." The three men, not wanting to die, agree to hear the challenge. "You most go in to the forest and pick out 10 of any fruit you find, bring those fruits back here" the king says. The three men head out in search of their fruit. The first man comes back with 10 apples in his hands, happy as can be. The king then says "You must shove those 10 apples up your butt wi ... read more

In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.

May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean. The next day, the Nazis surrendered...

Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.