Once chuck norris and time had race. Result: The time is still running.

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Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name. It's called the internet.

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Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.

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Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job? A: After 10 years the job still sucks.

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A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. "That's such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn't there anything I can do?" pleaded the patient. "Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life."

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