What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.

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The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day. Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.

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Four year-old Harry, who could tell time, was playing with a wall clock when her grandpa visited. Later, when he was putting on his coat to leave, the grandpa asked him what time it was. He looked at the clock blankly, and then answered in a triumphant way, "It's time for you to go, grandpa!"

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Q: What do you get when you find a dead blonde in a closet? A: The hide and seek champion of 1996.

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Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.

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