Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
 179
0  

A Scottish man was at a baseball game. It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly. The first batter approached the plate, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming “Run, run!” This happened two more times, with a single and a triple. The Scottish man was now excited and ready to get into the game. The next batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called “walk” and the batter started on a slow trot to first. The Scotsman, extremely excited now, stood up and screamed, “R-R-Run ye ba$$tarrd, rrrun!” Everyone aroun ... read more
 486
0  

No time for gym? Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night.
 1493
0  

How are women and linoleum floors alike? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.
 304
0  

Seems like school and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
 91
0