Vaginas are like weather, when it's wet, it's time to go inside.

Q. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10? A. She picks up her purse and goes home.

What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.

Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.

A husband and wife in their sixties were coming up on their 40th wedding anniversary. Knowing his wIfe loved antiques, he bought a beautiful old brass oil lamp for her. When she unwrapped it, a genie appeared. He thanked them and gave each of them one wish. The wife wished for an all expenses paid, first class, around the world cruise with her husband. Shazam! Instantly she was presented with tickets for the entire journey, plus expensive side trips, dinners, shopping, etc. The husband, however, wished he had a female companion who was 30 years younger. Shazam! Instantly he turne ... read more