Q. How do you know if a Asian robbed your house? A. Your HW is done , computer is upgraded, 2 hrs later lil f***er still tryin back off the driveway.

The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...

Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.

A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russian". The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where Upon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice once again calls out: "One Finn is better than one hundred Russian." Furious, the Russian commander sends his next best 100 troops over the hill and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again Silence. The calm Finnis ... read more

Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing their graduation gowns. "Are you graduates from the city university?" asked the cab driver. "Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of "99." The cabbie extended his hand. "Class of "67."