Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch? A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.

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Q: If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later leaves on Friday, how does he do it? A: The horse's name is Friday!

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The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...

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Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.

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Yo' Mama is so stupid, it took her an hour to cook instant rice.

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