I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.

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An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

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Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.

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Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.

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There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!

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