Q: How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad? A: I don't know! I've never had it longer than an hour!

2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world. The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.

Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job? A: After 10 years the job still sucks.

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for the week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in the privacy of your own home. Exercise #1: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Repeat with the other breast. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet ... read more

I'm tired 8 days a week.