What did the egg say to the boiling water? "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."

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Chuck Norris beat the light speed by 2 hours and 23 minutes.

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What does a nigger do after sex? 25 years to life.

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A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”

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Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.

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