Q: If a man crashes his car into a woman who's fault is it? A: Well what was the man doing driving in the kitchen...

Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving? A: The cop!

One misty Scottish morning a man is driving through the hills to Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a massive red-haired highlander steps into the middle of the road. The man is at least six feet four, has a huge red beard and, despite the wind, mist, and near freezing temperatures, is wearing only his kilt, a tweed shirt and a tam-o'-shanter at a rakish angle. At the roadside there also stands a young woman. She is absolutely beautiful slim, shapely, fair complexion, golden hair... heart stopping. The driver stops and stares, and his attention is only distracted from the lovely girl ... read more

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." The man replied, "I agree with you completely." "This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My ... read more

A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer : Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer : Don't have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer : I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Older Woman: I can't do that. Officer : Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer : Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer : You ... read more