There was a boy and his mother was about to go to work. She said, "Do not open the door for nobody". The boy said, "Okay." So after the mother left a girl came to their house and she said to the boy, "Let me in." The boy said, "I don’t want to, maybe tomorrow”" So the girl went to the window and started knocking on it. Once again she said, "Let me in." The boy finally gave up and let her in. So once she got in she said, "Let’s go upstairs." The boy said, "I don’t want to, maybe tomorrow." The girl kept asking him so he finally gave up. When his mama came into his room she said, "Ge ... read more

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup when the doctor asked how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an 18 year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?" The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day he went out in a bit of a hurry and accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrell ... read more

Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 10 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 10 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?" The priest replied, "I mean her legs."

How do teddy bears keep their den cool in summer? (They use bear conditioning!)

Two men are chatting; "My son asked me: 'Daddy, where do children come from?'" "It's not a big deal... Today kids are interested in that matter on the early years." "Yeah men, but the real issue here is that my son is... married... for five years!"