Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.

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Q: In which room we cannot live? A: Mushroom.

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What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.

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It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.

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You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.

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