A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.

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What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."

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When I was younger I used to think having sex was kissing naked. One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sex with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this. Yep I was a very dumb child.

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Panic: When your babysitter calls to ask where you keep the fire extinguisher.

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Your mama is so ugly, that she made a blind kid cry.

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