Q: What's red and goes up and down? A: A tomato in an elevator.

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The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.

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‘Is your baby a boy or a girl?’ ‘Of course. What else could it be?’

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Did you hear about the new Exorcist Movie? They got the Devil to come in to take the Priest out of the child.

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Anxiety: Getting up to see why the baby isn’t crying.

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