Teacher (on phone): "You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?" Voice: "This is my father."

 424

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The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?"

 715

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If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be? Out for the count!

 210

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"Where did you born?" "At the hospital!" "Don’t tell me! And what were you in for?"

 485

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What is height of Laziness? Adopting a child.

 335

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