The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

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Q: In which room we cannot live? A: Mushroom.

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A couple had been married for 50 years and had raised a brood of 10 children and was blessed with 20 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."

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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.

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What do you call a old snowman? Water.

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