Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?  A: She liked kids...

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He used to be a bottle baby, but when he reached the age of ten he pushed the cork out and escaped.

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Your mama is so ugly, that she made a blind kid cry.

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Chuck Norris was an only child. Eventually.

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Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."

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