"Mommy! Do Angels fly?" "Yes, they do my love!" "Then, when will our nanny fly? Dad calls her 'My Angel' all the time!" "Tomorrow, my child, she'll fly as far as she goes..."

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE..." "I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO..." "I PRAY FOR A NEW STEREO..." His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"

In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game. The cashier: - Are you stupid? This isn't real money! Peter: - You're stupid. The car is not real either.

A couple of kids in the South get pulled over for speeding. When the trooper approaches the car, the driver says 'What's the problem, sir?'. The trooper takes out his machined aluminum flashlight and whacks the kid across the head saying 'You don't speak to a state trooper unless you're spoken to'. The trooper writes out the citation and gives it to the driver who responds 'Thanks a lot'. The trooper again gives the kid a dose of the flashlight and says 'When you address a state trooper, you finish your sentence with the word sir'. He then walks over to the passenger side and whacks ... read more

A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they need at home? 1st kid says, "A computer." Teacher replies "That'd be very useful" 2nd kid says "A new lawn mower." Teacher replies with a similar response... Little Johnny pops up and says, "At my house we don"t need anything." The teacher asks him to think again carefully as everybody needs something... Little Johnny replies, "Nope, i'm sure of it. Whenever my sister started going out with a NIGGER, i remember my dad saying, "Well, thats the last f*cking thing we need."