Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids. These kids are now known as the power rangers.

Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.

Three men were talking about their teenage daughters: The first says "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and found a packet of cigarettes. I didn't even know she smoked". The second says "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank". Then the third speaks up. "Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a penis".