A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it.
The genie said, "I will grant you one wish."
He said, "I wish I were smarter".
So the genie made him a Republican.
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Q: How do you keep a Republican busy for a week?
A: Turn on the spell checker.
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Q: Why do they say elephants never forget?
A: They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.
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Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.
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Q: How big is a Republican-size bed?
A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.