Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.

I saw a sign in a public toilet the other day. It said "Please leave this toilet in the condition that you would have liked to have found it in." So I left it with a porn mag and a line of coke ...

A man walks into a bar and says loudly, "Bartender, six shots!" The bartender looks at him and says, "Wow six shots, whats the occasion?" The man replies , "First bl*wjob!" The bartender then pours him a seventh shot and says, "Congrats man, this ones on me." The man then says , "Man if six shots cant get the taste out of my mouth I don't know what will!"

A man is working a a d*ldo store, when a brunette walks in. She asks him how much for the black d*ldo? He replies $50 for the black one, $50 for the white one. She leaves without purchasing anything. A red head walks in and asks him how much for the white d*ldo? He replies $50 for the white one, $50 for the black one. she doesn't buy anything. A blonde enters the store and asks him how much for a d*ldo? He answers $50 for a black one, $50 for a white one. She asks how much for the plaid one on the shelf behind him? He says oh thats a very special one, thats $250. She buys it. ... read more

A vampire goes into to the bar and and for a glass of hot water. The bartender says, "I thought you guys only drank blood." The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "We do, I'm making tea."