A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?" The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!" To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?"

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Q: What did the nut say to the bolt? A: Screw me.

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Q: Why don't witches wear underwear? A: For a better grip on there broomstick!

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What does a Rubik's cube and a pen*s have in common? They both get harder the longer you play with them.

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A man is on a plane. The pilot starts talking on the intercom and then lays it down without knowing its still on. The pilot says to the co-pilot, "I could use two things right now, a cup of coffee and a blowjob." Stuartist runs up the isle to tell the pilot to turn off the intercom. The man stands up and says, "Hey hun, dont forget the coffee."

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