A guy feels out an application for E-harmony to meet the ladies.
E-harmony rejected his application because he failed to answer question 14 properly.
The question was, "What do you like most in a woman."
The man replied, "My d*ck."
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What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
A blowjob with handlebars.
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My girlfriend came out of the shower and said, "I shaved my pussy you know what that means?"
I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."
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4 reasons why I curse
1) Because I fucking want to.
2) Because I fucking can.
3) Because I don't give a fuck.
4) Because my mom isn't around.
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I could never fight a gay guy.
I don't know how to start.
"I'm gonna beat your ass...
I mean I'm gonna f*ck you up... no, I mean I'm stick my foot so far up your ass.. no, not like that, I mean Fuck you, damn it, I give up