What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? You can't f**k with either one.

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Man goes to a fancy dress party wearing only a glass jar on his p*nis. Lady asks, "What are you?" He says, "I'm a fireman." "But you're only wearing a glass jar," says the woman. He says, "Exactly, in an emergency, break glass." Pull knob and I'll cum as fast as I can!"

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What starts with a 'C', ends with a 'T', and is hairy on the outside and moist on the inside? Coconut.... What were you thinking?

 181

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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a lickalotapus.

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