What do you get when you take two hookers to Red Lobster? 10% off for bringing your own crabs.

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A couple driving home hit and wounded a skunk on the road. The wife gets out and brings it back to the car. "We need to take it to a vet. Its shivering, it must be cold, what should I do?" she asks. Husband replies "Put it between your legs to keep it warm." "But it stinks!" she exclaims. "So hold its nose!"

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Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.

 146

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A man walks into a bar and says loudly, "Bartender, six shots!" The bartender looks at him and says, "Wow six shots, whats the occasion?" The man replies , "First bl*wjob!" The bartender then pours him a seventh shot and says, "Congrats man, this ones on me." The man then says , "Man if six shots cant get the taste out of my mouth I don't know what will!"

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The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.

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