Wanna know Victoria's Secret? She has a penis.
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Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
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Q: What did the nut say to the bolt? A: Screw me.
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While talking to girl: "Hey, I heard an interesting stat the other day. They said that 80% of women masturbate in the shower. Know what the other 20% do?" "No, what?" "Yea, I figured you were in the first group."
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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a lickalotapus.
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