Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
205
0
Q: What did the nut say to the bolt?
A: Screw me.
193
0
While talking to girl:
"Hey, I heard an interesting stat the other day. They said that 80% of women masturbate in the shower. Know what the other 20% do?"
"No, what?"
"Yea, I figured you were in the first group."
605
0
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
a lickalotapus.
