What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless.

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Listening to censored hip-hop is like going to a whore for a hug.

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boy: spell "me" girl: M-E boy: but you forgot the D girl: there's no D in me boy: not yet ;)

 156

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Me - Can you go to your moms room? Friend - Yeah, why? Me - I left my pants in there. Friend - Fuck you!

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A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked. "You need to stop masturbating so much," the optometrist says. "Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make me go blind?" The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's making the other patients very uncomfortable."

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