Q: Have you tried Starbucks new hot beverage, Viagraccino? A: One cup and you're up all night.

A guy walks into a bar, orders six jägermeister shots. The bartender asks him if it's a special occation? The guy answers "yes indeed, my very first blowjob". The bartender gets excited and says "Congratulations, I'll give you the seventh shot on the house". The guy answers "Nah, if six jäger shots isn't enough to get rid of the taste, the seventh wont make much of a difference".

A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital. The doctor looked her over and told them it would be a rather difficult delivery. He offered to let the couple try an experimental procedure. The woman would be connected to a machine that would transfer part of the pain to the father of the baby, thus reducing her own. The man quickly agreed. The doctor warned him, though, that there was a slight bug in the machine that caused it to amplify the pain sent to the father by ten times, and if the pain became too much for to bear would he please let the doctor know. The doctor turned on the machi ... read more

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. S ... read more

"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In a stork?