A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

 180

0  

Q. Why doesn't Santa have any children? A. Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

 159

0  

Teacher: How we use the light? Pupil: To suck it? Teacher: Why do you say so? Pupil: Because every night, my mother says to my father, "Switch off the light, I wanna suck it!"

 187

0  

One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"

 558

0  

I think I just evolved into Homo Erectus.

 214

0