An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?" "Yes, ma'am." "And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"

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A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine"

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Two friends talk: "Hi, what are you doing?" "Not much, writing a Valentine's Day greeting card." "Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?" "No, I just can't let my right hand to see it. It's a surprise for it."

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Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants? A: He heard the snow blower coming.

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Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.

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