What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
 287
0  

What do you name an Asian baby with problems? Sum ting wong.
 585
0  

Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
 383
0  

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
 200
3  

Me: "Here comes the airplane!" Baby: Opens mouth. Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
 371
0