How did the live baby escape from a room filled with with zombie babies? He ate his way out.

 343

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What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!

 453

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Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".

 714

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Peter: My mom is having a new baby. Joy: What's wrong with the old one?

 343

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A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ? The logician replies: "yes".

 571

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