What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A baby with a punctured lung.

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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

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Little Johnny comes running into the house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," says his mom, "of course not." Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"

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A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more that a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

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Peter: My mom is having a new baby. Joy: What's wrong with the old one?

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