My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

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When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.

 265

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What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"

 364

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Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week? Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".

 312

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Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?

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