Nurse: "If youre going to give grapes to a baby make sure you cut them in half." Me: [visibly confused] Wife: "The grapes, not the baby."

LaShaunda had just given birth to a daughter and discussed possible names with her hospital roommate, LaQoowanga. LaShwanda mentioned a name she had heard in the doctor's office, "Vagina". When the hospital personnel asked her what name to put on the birth certificate, LaShaunda said "Vagina". "You can't name your baby that!" "Don't disrespect me! I be her mama. I can names her anything I want." When the hospital person tried to explained what the name meant, LaShaunda said, "No, No! that's a cootchie!"

Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".

Yo' mama so fat, when she was a baby, she took a bath with a rubber albatross.

Why is making toast like an interracial couple having a baby? It's annoying when it comes out black.