Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ''How do you really feel? I mean, you're 75 years old, how do you honestly feel?'' ''Honestly, I feel like a new born baby. I've got no hair, no teeth, and I just peed myself.''

 496

0  

What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.

 342

0  

Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, "I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here." The second one says, "I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here." The third one says, "I wanna be a boxer." The others look confused and ask, "Why do you want to be a boxer?" He proudly replies, "So I can beat the hell out of that rude bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us."

 394

0  

What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"

 413

2  

Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.

 1050

9