What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag.

 332

0  

Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"

 689

0  

How did the live baby escape from a room filled with with zombie babies? He ate his way out.

 281

0  

Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper? A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.

 161

0  

What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.

 273

0