The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they're hand made.
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Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
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Three women were sitting in a bar, (burnette, redhead, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The burnette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "Well I was on top when I concieved so I will have a baby boy". The red head said, "If your logic is correct then I will have a baby girl because I was on the bottom when I concieved. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
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Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco".
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