When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.

Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand." "Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impa ... read more

What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."

What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.