What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
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What do you name an Asian baby with problems?
Sum ting wong.
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Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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Me: "Here comes the airplane!"
Baby: Opens mouth.
Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
