Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!

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Peter: My mom is having a new baby. Joy: What's wrong with the old one?

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Who held the baby octopus to ransom? Squidnappers.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.

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