Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!

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A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."

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Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper? A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.

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Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, "I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here." The second one says, "I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here." The third one says, "I wanna be a boxer." The others look confused and ask, "Why do you want to be a boxer?" He proudly replies, "So I can beat the hell out of that rude bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us."

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What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!

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