Programmer. A machine that turns coffee into code.

What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass? Beer.

Algorithm. Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.

Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.

Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever. Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle of the fin ... read more