UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

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Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.

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Programmer. A machine that turns coffee into code.

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Two geeks are talking over lunch. The first guy says, "You wouldn't believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said 'Take whatever you want!' … So I took the bike" The second guy says, "Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

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What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass? Beer.

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