Your mama is so black when God saw her he said "Oh man I burnt one again."
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God created Adam, Adam saw Chuck Norris, Adam created tears.
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Dogs believe they are human.
Cats believe they are God.
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A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life.
The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood."
So god turned him into a maxi pad.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, she buys clothes in three sizes: large, extra large, and "Oh my God, it's coming towards us!"