God said let there be light. Chuck Norris said say please.

Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Sally was sleeping in front of johnny. The teacher asked Sally who our Lord and savior was. Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a pin and she screamed "Jesus Christ!" And fell back to sleep. A little while later the teacher asked Sally who created our world. Johnny poked her in the butt again and Sally screamed "oh my god!" And fell back to sleep. Later the teacher asked Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fifth child. Johnny poked her in the butt and Sally screamed "if you stick that thing in me one more time I'm ... read more

How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.

People believe in God. God believe in Chuck Norris.

Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.