Yo mama is so fat that when she died jesus couldn't lift her soul to heaven.

Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.

In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested. After that, He creaed man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.

One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed ... read more

Could you imagine if God turns out to be a woman ? Not only am I going to hell, but I will never know why.