My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
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A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He’s in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He’s in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and wai ... read more
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If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
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Do you know why God is called "God"? Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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