Yo momma so poor that when she farted she said clap your hands stomp your feet praise to the lord we have heat.

 659

1  

Question: Why did God give men penises? Answer: So men would at least have one way to shut a woman up.

 315

0  

Sherlock Holmes dies and goes to Heaven. There is a brouhaha. Sherlock Holmes asks St. Peter what seems to be the problem. Apparently, Adam has gone 'walkabout' among all the souls. It will take ages to find him. Holmes tracks down Adam, very quickly. The Lord asks Holmes how he recognized Adam among the millions of souls, without ever having met him. "Elementary, my dear God, he has no navel."

 685

0  

Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.

 769

1  

God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.

 379

0