A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, ”I’m Jesus Christ.” The first priest says, ”No, son, I’m Jesus Christ.” So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest replies, ”No, son, I’m Jesus Christ.” The drunk says, ”Look, I can prove it.” and walks back into the bar with the priests. The bartender takes on look at the drunk and exclaims, ”Jesus Christ, you’re here again?”

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In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested. After that, He creaed man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.

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I know when god becomes angry. When teenage girls get pregnant and their parents exclaim, "Oh god! What have you done?!"

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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."

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Chuck Norris was worshipped as a god by the Eskimos. That is why they had igloos modeled after his signature move.

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