Bill Gates dies and goes to God. God says to him: Because you invented the screen saver I give you the possibility to go wherever you want. God shoes Bill that in hell there are lots of naked chicks and beaches. So he chooses hell. After a while God returns and asks him if he like’s it there. Bill says: No! Where are all the chicks you just showed me? Oh that! That was just a screen saver.

Question: Why did God give men penises? Answer: So men would at least have one way to shut a woman up.

Bob: "Hey, Sue, why is there a tampon hanging out of your mouth?" Sue: "Oh my God. What did I do with my cigarette?"

There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. Bill's wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very tired. His wife asked, "What's the matter, Bill? You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable right now." Bill said, "Well, something terrible happened. Fred had a heart attack on the first hole." "My God, honey!" said the wife, rushing to comfort him. "That must've been terrible!" "It was," he said. "All day long it ... read more

In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested. After that, He creaed man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.