In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was Made in China.
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Patient to doctor: "On the top of your prescription these words are printed: We treat; God Cures. If so, would I give the fee to you or shall I send it to God?" Doctor: "Pay me. I will send it."
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A little boy was pushing a heavy cart uphill with a lot of effort. The work was very tiring, so someone walking nearby felt pity and helped the little boy push the heavy cart until the end of the hill. He stopped indignant there and told to the child: "You should say to your boss that it is a shame to make a kid such hard work to do." "I told them, sir." "Well, what did they reply?" "Pull kid and some sucker will be there to help you."
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What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him.
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Why did God give women belly buttons? For somewhere to stash your gum on the way down.
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