Q: What's the difference between me and a calendar? A: A calendar has dates.
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Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
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A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle." "Do you think it will work?" she asks. "It's worth a try." he says. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you'r ... read more
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Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.
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A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.” The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”
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