The pentagon said they had too many generals running around, so they decided to get rid of some of them. They offered $10,000 in severance pay for each inch of their body to be measured however they chose. The Air Force general went first. He said he wanted to be measured from his head to his toe. He was 69 inches. He received $690,000. Next up was the Army general. He wanted to be measured from the tip of his finger to the tip of his other finger. It was 80 inches. He received $800,000. The two generals were very happy with their earnings. Finally the Marine general came up. H ... read more

Q: Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper? A: They need a map....

Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo ? A: B-52...F-16...A-10.

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."

An army Major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks "What's your problem, Soldier? "Chronic syphilis, Sir!" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir!" "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front lines, Sir!" "Good man!" says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic piles, Sir!" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir!" "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front lines, Sir!" "Good man!" says the Major. He goes to the next bed. " ... read more