There was a father who called his 5 small children together. As the sat together in a circle on the floor the dad placed a toy in the middle. He explained to them that he won this toy as a door prize and he wanted to give it to one of them. He asked them "who is the most obedient?" Five sets of eyes looked up at him. Sensing that they didn’t understand the word he then asked, "ok, who always obeys mommy, and does everything she says?" One of the children picked up the toy and handed it to the father. "You win!" exclaimed the child.

Dad shouts ..."STOP WATCHIN P*RN....I CAN HEAR IT IN MY ROOM!" Son: Dad...I am NOT watching p*rn... That is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!

A kid asks his father: Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed? Dad: Because the bed wont come to you.

Yo' Mama is so skanky, when yo' daddy suggested doggie style, she laid down and licked her balls.

My son asked me today, "Dad, what music did you like growing up?" "Led Zeppelin," I replied. "Who?" he said. "Yeah, I liked them too."