Johnny comes back home from school and tells his father, "Dad, tomorrow you are invited to a special parent meetings at school."
"How much special?"
"Well, just me, you, the director and two investigators from the FBI."
439
0
Dad, would you like to save some money?
I certainly would, son.
Any suggestions?
Sure.
Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.
312
0
My dad died on 9-11.
He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
1440
1
A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers.
Salesman: "Can I see your dad?"
Johnny: "No, he's in the shower."
Salesman: "What about your mother? Can I see her?"
Johnny: "Nope. She's in the shower, too."
Salesman: "Do you think they'll be out soon?"
Johnny: "Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead."
372
0
Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!