Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!

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Teacher (on phone): "You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?" Voice: "This is my father."

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Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.

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Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers. When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing. "Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?" "I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"

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Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?" Chuck Norris is your daddy.

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