A father tells his son to stop jacking off. "You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says. The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."

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A young attorney who had taken over his father’s practice rushed home elated one night. “Dad, listen,” he shouted, “I’ve finally settled that old McKinney suit.” “Settled it!” cried his astonished father. “Why, you idiot! We have been living off of that money for five years!”

 326

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Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father: No. Why do you ask that? Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

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A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink. "Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something." "Dad you don´t mea-" "Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son. "Dad I dont know what to say...I'm honored." "Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."

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Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark? Father: I think so. What do you want me to write? Ramu: Your name on this report card.

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