The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.

There was a father who called his 5 small children together. As the sat together in a circle on the floor the dad placed a toy in the middle. He explained to them that he won this toy as a door prize and he wanted to give it to one of them. He asked them "who is the most obedient?" Five sets of eyes looked up at him. Sensing that they didn’t understand the word he then asked, "ok, who always obeys mommy, and does everything she says?" One of the children picked up the toy and handed it to the father. "You win!" exclaimed the child.

My son asked me today, "Dad, what music did you like growing up?" "Led Zeppelin," I replied. "Who?" he said. "Yeah, I liked them too."

I like black people . . . . . I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them!

Yo' daddy's so ugly, when he looked out the window he was arrested for mooning!