Me: Siri, why am I alone?
Siri: *opens front facing camera*
83
0
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
274
0
Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.
228
0
Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
555
0
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
