Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*
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If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.
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Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.
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Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
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I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
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