When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.

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A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."

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Yo Mommas so stupid she got lost in a telephone booth.

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"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?" "She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me." "I don't believe that she cheated on you!" "Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."

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