Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, we have to be sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"

 834

0  

Yo' Mama is like my cell phone plan: 10 cents a minute anytime, anywhere, no restrictions.

 298

0  

A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."

 652

0  

Why did the blonde burn her ear? The phone rang while she was ironing!

 170

0  

If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.

 297

0