A lawyer has just settled down in his new office. So now, he is thinking what he can do to have clients. After a long time thinking, a man comes into the office. Right away, the lawyer decides to make his new plan take action. So he picks up the phone and says: "Unfortunately, Ms. Onassis, I cannot undertake your case right now. I am working full time, call me in a month to see if I can help you." He puts the phone down and says to the waiting man: "How can I help you sir?" "Nothing really, I am from telephone communications, I just came to connect your phone."

A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."

Doctor: "You look exhausted." Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."

What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese telephone. Wing, Wing, Halo

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"