Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook.
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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
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What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese telephone. Wing, Wing, Halo
 274
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Doctor: "You look exhausted." Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."
 810
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What do you call a Scottish iPhone? An AyePhone.
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