Why did the referee have such a high phone bill? Because he made to many calls!

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Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11

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A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks. "No," says the psychic, "in biology class."

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What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.

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Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.

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