A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart. Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple. The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.

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When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed calls.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself.

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Every mobile phone user has complained like this: Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.

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Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*

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