At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police." Russian : "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."

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A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."

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Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth? A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.

 20047

8  

Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook.

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Yo' Mama is so nasty, she gave me an ear infection over the phone.

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