Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone. The ground is afraid to break it.

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0  

The manager of the liquor store gets a phone call at 8 pm. "At what time do you open tomorrow?" asked the caller. "At nine," he answered. The phone rings at midnight "What time do you open ... in the morning?" "At nine". The phone rings at 4 in the morning "Whatt tim do ya openn in the mornin?" "I told you before at nine". "Imm just inn aa hury cause i got locked in tha stor las nite."

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Q: How do you know when you are stoned? A: When you are too phoned to stone home.

 15793

6  

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.

 296

0  

Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to use a telephone pole as a tampon.

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