At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police." Russian : "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."

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Yo' Mama is like my cell phone plan: 10 cents a minute anytime, anywhere, no restrictions.

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"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?" "She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me." "I don't believe that she cheated on you!" "Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."

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Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.

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According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.

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