The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!"
After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
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What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do?
Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
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Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
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Teacher: "In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?"
Pupil: "Holding up the telegraph lines!"