A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."

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Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad. It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.

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What do you call a Scottish iPhone? An AyePhone.

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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

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Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.

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