My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I'm still employed. I just can't remember where.

I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."

Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening just as they have done for the past 50 years. Gus, the elder, had been having problems remembering what cards were what, and usually needed help from his wife. At the end of the card game Red said to Gus, "You did very good tonight. You didn't need any help at all. Why is that?" Gus replied, "Why, ever since my wife sent me to that memory school, I haven't had any problems at all." "Memory school? What memory school?" Gus thought for a moment, "Oh, what's that flower that's red with thorns? A really pretty flower..." "A rose?" a ... read more

Remember your wife is a romantic who still loves flowers and chocolates. Show her you remember as well by referring to them occasionally.

Doctor: "Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?" Patient: "What pills?"