My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I'm still employed. I just can't remember where.

Yo' Mama is so old, she dreams in black and white.

Benefits of having Alzheimer's: You can wrap your own presents. You are always meeting new friends.

Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening just as they have done for the past 50 years. Gus, the elder, had been having problems remembering what cards were what, and usually needed help from his wife. At the end of the card game Red said to Gus, "You did very good tonight. You didn't need any help at all. Why is that?" Gus replied, "Why, ever since my wife sent me to that memory school, I haven't had any problems at all." "Memory school? What memory school?" Gus thought for a moment, "Oh, what's that flower that's red with thorns? A really pretty flower..." "A rose?" a ... read more

Q: Why do they say elephants never forget? A: They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.