A guy's walking along the beach and he finds a magic lamp. He rubs it and two blonde genies come out. They tell him they'll grant him any three wishes he wants. So he makes his wishes... he wakes up in bed with 50 of the most beautiful women he's ever seen and he'd just made love to all of them. Then he walks outta the bed and opens a treasure chest filled with more money than you could ever imagine... then two KKK members come riding in on horses, throw a noose over a tree and hang him... The KKK members take off their masks and its the two blonde genies one of them says to the ... read more

Wishing to prove to his wife that he loved her for more than sex, the young man bought her a lovely bouquet of roses. Despite his good intentions, however, the devoted husband received a suspicious look when he handed her the flowers. "I suppose," she said, "that now you expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs spread." "Why?" said the young man. "Don't we have a vase?"

Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

A man, during his night prays, asks God: "Oh, Lord... Why you’ve made women so beautiful?" God replies: "So you can love them, my child." "Fine, but my Lord, why you’ve made them so stupid?" "So that they can love you back, my child...!"