A teenager is a hopeless romantic who never falls in love more then twice a week.

A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital. Her friend, deeply concerned, visits her the next day. “Are you hurt?” she asks. She replies, “Of course I’m hurt! He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!”

Love is one way to get to a persons heart the other is Chuck Norris' fists.

Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand National winner!

Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"