Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. So, I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So the first fella did just that. The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?" "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran ... read more
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My wife and I really love bondage. She loves it because she's a kinky bitch. I love it because I get to gag her for a couple of hours.
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When Adam asked Eve out for dinner she replied: "Oh I'd love to, but I haven't a thing to wear."
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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
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Son: "Mom, I love you so much!" Mother: "I don't have any money, try it with your dad."
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