He was such an egotist that he joined the navy so the world could see him.
1545
0
Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife."
Sara: "Wife?"
Mike: "I'm working on it."
Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself."
Mike: "You too."
1796
1
Q: How are women and a hurricane alike?
A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
1231
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A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk."
Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
1426
0
Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?
A: He gets taller.