Q: How are women and a hurricane alike?
A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
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My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
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He was such an egotist that he joined the navy so the world could see him.
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A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk."
Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
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"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?"
"My name is Paul."