When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.

 4420

1  

Q: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? A: A teacher.

 1387

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A rabbi and a priest crash into each other at a four-way junction. They both get out of their cars and look at the wreck. They both thank God they are OK, and the priest says, ‘This must be a sign that God wanted us to meet.’ The rabbi says, ‘Yes, indeed, let’s drink.’ So the rabbi gets out some wine. They toast each other and the priest drinks his glass. But the rabbi doesn’t take a taste of his drink. Priest: ‘Why aren’t you drinking?’ Rabbi: ‘I’m waiting for the police.’

 2115

1  

How come there aren't that many jokes about Jim Jones? The punchlines are too long.

 682

0  

My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.

 5755

1