Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"

 1394

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My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.

 5757

1  

A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk." Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."

 1391

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A rabbi and a priest crash into each other at a four-way junction. They both get out of their cars and look at the wreck. They both thank God they are OK, and the priest says, ‘This must be a sign that God wanted us to meet.’ The rabbi says, ‘Yes, indeed, let’s drink.’ So the rabbi gets out some wine. They toast each other and the priest drinks his glass. But the rabbi doesn’t take a taste of his drink. Priest: ‘Why aren’t you drinking?’ Rabbi: ‘I’m waiting for the police.’

 2124

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How come there aren't that many jokes about Jim Jones? The punchlines are too long.

 686

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