"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."

 4630

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When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.

 4316

1  

The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?" "Yes, I was. So what?" "Were you sitting on the table?" "Yeah, why?" The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!" "But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders. "Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"

 951

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They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.

 1466

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Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"

 1253

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