Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.

I was wondering why air is so polluted. Then I remembered people saying "Love is in the air". Now it makes sense.

Q: If Bigamy is having one wife too much, what is Monogamy? A: The Same!

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I buzz you in. Come inside and elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?" "Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? "What... You're coming empty handed?"

When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.