My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
 5495
1  

A rabbi and a priest crash into each other at a four-way junction. They both get out of their cars and look at the wreck. They both thank God they are OK, and the priest says, ‘This must be a sign that God wanted us to meet.’ The rabbi says, ‘Yes, indeed, let’s drink.’ So the rabbi gets out some wine. They toast each other and the priest drinks his glass. But the rabbi doesn’t take a taste of his drink. Priest: ‘Why aren’t you drinking?’ Rabbi: ‘I’m waiting for the police.’
 1723
1  

A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk." Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
 1106
0  

Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife? A: Let him keep her!
 27400
7  

Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
 1141
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