A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk."
Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
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Q: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
A: A teacher.
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When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right.
As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
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They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history.
At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
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Oh, you play racquetball?
You must be extremely athletic.
