When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.

 4442

1  

So David Is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride. "Ma", he said to his Mother, "I'm going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiance." Sure enough twenty minutes later, David walks in the door with three girls following behind him. "It's that one", said his mother, without blinking an eye. "Holy cow", exclaimed David, "how in the world did you know it was her?" "I just don't like her", she replied.

 1971

0  

Q: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? A: A teacher.

 1409

1  

"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."

 4720

1  

I was wondering why air is so polluted. Then I remembered people saying "Love is in the air". Now it makes sense.

 3993

1