Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?
A: He gets taller.
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Q: What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers?
A: They grow taller!
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He was such an egotist that he joined the navy so the world could see him.
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My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
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A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk."
Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."