How come there aren't that many jokes about Jim Jones? The punchlines are too long.

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweller inquired, "Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?" Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, "No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'." The jeweller smiled and said, "Yes, sir; how very romantic of you." Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, "Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again."

Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.

Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.

Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A: Beat it. We're closed.