Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A: Beat it. We're closed.
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My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
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An airman finds a barber shop near the base and goes inside for a haircut. After getting a nice, short flat-top, the airman asks how much he should pay. "No charge, son" replies the barber, "Your dedication and sacrifice in the service of our nation is payment enough." The next day, as he opens shop, the barber finds a squadron T-shirt and a thank-you note left by his customer. Later that day, a staff sergeant comes in, asking the barber to take a little bit off the sides. When the haircut was complete and the NCO reaches for his wallet, the barber again says: "No charge, sergeant. ... read more
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Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
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A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
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