Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? A: He gets taller.

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An IRS agent is lying on his psychiatrist's couch bemoaning the fact that everyone in the world hates him. "Nonsense", says his doctor. "Everyone in the world doesn't hate you. Everyone in the United States, perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."

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It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.

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Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.

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Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"

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