How come there aren't that many jokes about Jim Jones? The punchlines are too long.
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When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
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I was wondering why air is so polluted. Then I remembered people saying "Love is in the air". Now it makes sense.
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A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
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A husband, who has six children, begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this. "Mother of six," he would say, "what’s for dinner tonight? Get me a beer!" She gets very frustrated. Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yells out, "Mother of six, I think it's time to go!" The wife immediately shouts back, "I'll be right with you, father of four!"
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