When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.

 4387

1  

Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.

 1147

0  

How come there aren't that many jokes about Jim Jones? The punchlines are too long.

 666

0  

The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?" "Yes, I was. So what?" "Were you sitting on the table?" "Yeah, why?" The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!" "But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders. "Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"

 1012

0  

He was such an egotist that he joined the navy so the world could see him.

 1472

0