Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol? A: Tequila Mockingbird...

After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "You wanna hear a blonde joke?" The person replies, "I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?" The man thinks for a while and replies, "Not if I have to explain it three times."

Two random variables were talking in a bar. They thought they were being discrete but I heard their chatter continuously.

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.

Chuck Norris walked into a bar. "OUCH!" said the bar.