Listen, I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk, we go to parties...

 233

0  

Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!!!

 217

0  

A man comes home late one night, drunk. "Where have you been?" asks his wife. "In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!" This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls the Golden Bar. "Do you have golden chairs?" "Yes." "Do you have golden glasses?" "Yes." "Do you have golden beer?" "Yes." "Do you have a golden urinal?" "Hold on." On the other end, she hears "I think we have a line on the guy who pissed in your saxophone."

 671

0  

Q: What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar? A: "Please, no stories!"

 240

0  

There were three women sitting at a bar, talking about how loose they were. One woman said that her husband could fit his arm in up to his elbow. The next woman said her man could fit his leg in up to his knee. The last woman just slid over the bar stool.

 237

0