Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.

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I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers

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Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.

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On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.

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Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets!

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