I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers

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Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost.

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Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire? A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!

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Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets!

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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.

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