I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers

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Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."

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On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.

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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.

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Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? A: Hope it's Halloween!

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