Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.

 882

2  

Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire? A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!

 629

0  

Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."

 927

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Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons? A: They're a bunch of no bodies!

 613

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It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.

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