Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.

Chuck Norris hates both the player and the game.

A customer comes into the computer store. I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging." "Well," replied the clerk, "Have you tried Vista?"

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. All he needed to do was somehow get to the airport, and then he'd be home-free. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home. He offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc... The cabbie said, "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell o ... read more