Chuck Norris can finish a Super Mario game with just one arrow key.

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Chuck Norris finished Minecraft.

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Patient: "Doctor, do you think that I shall live until I am ninety?" Doctor: "How old are you now?" Patient: "40" Doctor: "Do you drink, gamble, smoke or do you have any other vice?" Patient: "No. I don’t drink. I don’t gamble. I don’t smoke. I have no vice." Doctor: "Then why do you want to live for another fifty years?"

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Someone just knocked on the door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans. I said "Fuck that, with my luck I'd probably win one."

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What do you call a rabbit that plays with foxes? A dumb bunny.

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