"Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place?" "He was sacked for making a grave mistake."

How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.

I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store. I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...

Two bums are sitting talking. The first one starts bragging, "Today was the best day ever! This morning I found a brand new pack of smokes just sitting on the ground. So you know what I did? I sat and smoked every fucking one of them... had the best day ever." The second bum just laughs, "That's nothing, today I was walking along the rail road tracks and I found this girl laying on the tracks. You know what I did? I fucked her all day long." The other bum interrupts, "Bull! You didn't do it all day long did you?", the other continues, "Well, no but it was for at least a few g ... read more

A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said: "Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.