Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.

A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off. A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby. The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me." "Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man. "No way, you're disgusting, go away." The homeless man turns and starts walking away. The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me t ... read more

Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor? A: Not cool.

Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

What do you call a virgin on a waterbed? A cherry float.