How many dead babies does it take to change a tire? Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.

What do you call a baby on a stick? A Kebabie.

One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: - Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: - Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. - But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: - I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. - But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see ... read more

What do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin mobile.

Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."