How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? His hand slipped.

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Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!

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Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.

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Me: "Here comes the airplane!" Baby: Opens mouth. Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"

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I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store. I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...

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