How are a lawyer and a prostitute different? The prostitute stops fucking you after you’re dead.
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"My parachute did not work." Said no one ever.
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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
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A Liberal died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Liberal? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!"
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What's the good part of there being no blacks on the Jetsons? It means the future will be great!
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