What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. You put groceries in the other.

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Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''

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What do you call a virgin on a waterbed? A cherry float.

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*Wakes up to wife and son screaming* Me: "What are you guys yelling about?" Them: "You're driving!"

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