A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up. He did the tests and waited. After a while, the doctor came in with the results. "Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You have really not much time to live.." "Doctor..! How much time do I have..?" "Ten..." "Ten what? Months? Years? What?!" "Nine...Eight...Seven..."

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Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.

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Q: What is height of Suicide? A: A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

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What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.

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What has more brains than a dead baby? The wall behind it.

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