When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.

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Q: What is height of Suicide? A: A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

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Two cannibals were having lunch. "Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other. "Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."

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Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team? A: The New York Jets.

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I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped. Saved myself a fiver.

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