Always go to other people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.

 178

0  

Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.

 1749

1  

What's the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind? The dashboard.

 223

0  

Patient: “Doctor, Doctor… I can’t stop stealing things”. Doctor: “Take these pills for a week. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have a color TV”.

 253

0  

Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing? A: He didn't have any arms.

 170

0