Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads? Because they're headcases.
 608
0  

I just ended a long-term relationship today. I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine.
 439
0  

Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other "I don't like your friend." The other one said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables."
 75
0  

Black humour is like a pair of legs. Not everyone has it.
 180
0  

There's some soldiers in Vietnam. And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back." So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle. But he's gone for a good half an hour, they're finally convinced that he's been murdered by Charlie when they hear the signal. So they lay down fire and he sprints out of the jungle and leaps back into the trench. So obviously they're pretty confused ... read more
 492
0