How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day? You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.

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Q: Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics? A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, swim, and jump have left the country.

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What do sick cannibals have for breakfast? Vitamin bills!

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Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor? A: Not cool.

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Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?" Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."

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