A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?" "Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
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Old man: "Can you give me an erection?" Faith Healer: "I can make the blind see, make the lame walk and I can even cure cancer. But, I'm sorry I cannot raise the 'dead'."
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Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? A: Because his wife died.
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How did the tugboat get AIDS? It was rear-ended by a ferry.
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What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was The Wall.
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