Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?"
Matthew: "I don't know. What?"
Michael: "Candy corneas."
1428
0
Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?"
Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
339
0
Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."
The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is bloody low down"
1043
0
Me: "Here comes the airplane!"
Baby: Opens mouth.
Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
484
0
Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a balanced meal.
