What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. You put groceries in the other.

What is a cannibal's favorite food? Baked Beings.

A golfer walks into the clubhouse of the local country club. He tells the golf pro behind the counter that he wants to do 18 and he is going to need a caddy. The golf pro informs him that the country club is running a promotion and if he tries out one of their experimental robot caddies, he can golf for free. The golfer agrees and takes out the robot. While on the golf course the robot caddy tells the golfer the wind speed, distance, even how hard to hit which club. He has the best game of his life. The next time the golfer goes to the country club, he tells the golf pro that he wants ... read more

Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork? So you can tell which ones are still alive.