Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.

The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.

An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first? The apple because the rope catches the black person.

A cab driver reaches the pearly gates. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book and tells him to pick up a gold staff and a silk robe and proceed into Heaven. Next in line is a preacher. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book, furrows his brow and says, "OK, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff." The preacher is shocked and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a cabbie!" St. Peter responds matter-of-factly, "This is Heaven and up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, peop ... read more

What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive? Popeye almost killed him!