What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it? The AIDS team.

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What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? Ended a race.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!

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Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!

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