How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.

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Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? A: Hey y'all... Watch this!

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Why are little girls better than little boys? Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.

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The other day a friend and myself decided to try out an aerobics video because we were both feeling very unfit. We put the tape in and started to copy the movements. After a few minutes we had chopped each other's arms off with chain-saws. It was only then that we realized that I had accidentally put "Psycho Killers III" in the video by mistake! How we laughed!!!!

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What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it? The AIDS team.

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