I wish I could see things from your point of view, unfortunately I can't stick my head that far up my ass.
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A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump. The sergeant gives instructions: "After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10. Your parachute will automatically open. If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord. When you get to the drop zone, there'll be trucks waiting to take you back to the base. Move out!" As scared as they are, they all make it out the door. The last recruit jumps out and slowly counts to 10 -- nothing. He frantically fumbles around and finds the emergency handle. He jerks on the cord, and it comes off in his hand. Raising his head to the ... read more
 326
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
 925
7  

The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.
 213
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Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels? A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.
 656
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