My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
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The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
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How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
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Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’
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How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf? He became a vegetarian.
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