"My parachute did not work." Said no one ever.

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I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.

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What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.

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Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’

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What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.

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