Signs You're No Longer in College... You no longer know what time fast food drive-thru windows close. Your potted plants stay alive. You pay at least a dollar more than the minimum payment on your credit card bill. Your friends' hook-ups and break-ups are now marriages and divorces. You attend parties that the police don't raid. You're not expected to leave the room when the adults are talking. You refer to college students as "those kids." You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of just beer, beer and beer. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of leftover pizza. At 6 a.m., you ... read more

Five friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go for a picnic and party with some friends up there. They had a great time. However, after all the partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to College until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to an Old age home in the nearest town to spend some time with aged people for the weekend with the plan to come back and study but, unfortunately, they ha ... read more

In high school, you can't go out to lunch because it's not allowed whereas in college, you can't go out to lunch because you can't afford it.

Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!

Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? When the kids are in college.