Yo' Mama is so stupid, she reported her stolen crack to the cops.

Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed? A: You can't smoke too much weed.

Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

I'm trying to write a joke about overdosing on cocaine. But I need a line to end it.

Bill wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Bill looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect order, spotless, clean. So's the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you." So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His s ... read more