Cocaine is Addicted to Chuck Norris.

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Boy asks his Gran nervously, "have you seen my pills ... they were labeled LSD ?" Gran replies "fuck your pills ! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen ?!"

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Doctor: "Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?" Patient: "What pills?"

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I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ... 20 years old and mixed up with coke !

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A blonde walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms. "That will be $1.08, please," says the clerk. "What are the eight cents for?" asks the blonde. "It says one dollar right here on the packaging." "Tax," replies the clerk. "Gee," says the blonde, "I thought you just rolled them on and they stayed put."

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