There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You’re cute!” Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.” She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’?” His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”

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Q: Why is there cotton in medicine bottles? A: To remind the black people they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.

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An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!" "Sorry, we are sold out..."

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A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"

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My boss doesn't believe money equals happiness. So instead of raises, he gives us Prozac.

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