Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?"
Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it."
Doctor: "Why?"
Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
597
0
Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed?
A: You can't smoke too much weed.
11835
2
A traveling salesman rings this doorbell.
10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar.
The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?"
Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"
680
0
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do.
Would you like to buy some?"
She responds, "No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"
577
0
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
