A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”

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Yo' Mama is like a bag of chips: Fri-to-lay.

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Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.

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What did the egg say to the boiling water? "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."

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75% of women do not eat after 6... shots.

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