Yo' Mama is so stupid, it took her an hour to cook instant rice.

Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet? A: A free for all.

Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl. Fred thought for a moment and said, "No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity."

One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car. He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hour. The chicken was still keeping up. After about a mile of running the chicken ran up a farm lane and into a barn behind an old farm house. The salesman had some time to kill so he turned around and drove up the farm lane. He knocked at the door and when the farmer answered he told him what he had just seen. The farmer said that he was a geneticist and had developed this breed of ... read more

If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis. He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!