Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans? A: The black ones steal your watch.

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Chuck Norris put corns in the Milky Way and eat them at his breakfast.

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A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 Hand Job: $10.00 He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks. "Yes," she purrs. "I am." "Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"

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Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet? A: A free for all.

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When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.

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