What did the egg say to the boiling water? "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."

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Q: What is a Democratic Free Market? A: One that hands out slices of cheese.

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Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.

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What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.

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When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.

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