Chuck Norris invented hot sauce. To put on his peppers.

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What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment? Potpourri.

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Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: "What are you shaking about, it's me she's going to eat."

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If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.

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Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.

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