Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.

Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

There was three Mexicans walking down the street when three old white guys approached them. The first white man said: Whats up wet backs. The first mexican said: I am not wet, I am just greasy from stealing car parts. The second old man said: What the hells that smell, smells like beanery. The second Mexican replies: It don't smell like beanery, we just got back from taco bell. The third mexican says: YaYA, amigo, we just got back from Taco Bell. The third white guys says: I was talking to the bean, not the whole damn burrito.

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? Zero.

Yo' Mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.