When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.

What did the egg say to the boiling water? "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."

Roses are red lemons are sour. Open your legs and give me an hour.

A nun woke up one morning feeling great, she got out of bed and decided to go to the kitchen for some breakfast. On her way over there she runs into sister Jane and she says, "Hi sister Jane," by which sister Jane says, "I see you got off on the wrong side of the bed sister. She did not understand what sister Jane meant by that so she ignored it and went on. She was passing by the garden when she ran into sister Roberta and she says, "Good morning sister Roberta I am having a great day. Sister Roberta says, "I see you got off on the wrong side of the bed." The nun was wondering why everybo ... read more

Your Momma is like Burger King "Have it Your Way".