Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato? A: Lettuce get together!

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Whats the cheapest type of meat that a redneck can buy? Deer balls, they're under a buck.

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My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.

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Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.

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What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? Hamburger.

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