Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day? A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.
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A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he's allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That's not surprising," the elders say. "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."
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Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
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Q: Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving? A: KFC isnt open on holidays.
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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
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