What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant?
An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots.
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Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
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A waitress walks up to a man to take his order.
"I'd like to get the turtle soup, please."
The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead.
"Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk."
Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
