Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.

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Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.

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A policeman caught a mischievous little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other. "Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, innocent creature I shall personally do to you." "In that case," said the boy, "I'll give it lots of chocolates as well as all my money and let it go."

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A monkey goes into a bar and asks the barman: - Do you have any bananas? - No,I don't. ( says the barman) - Do you have any bananas? (asks the monkey) - No,I have not got any bananas! - Do you have any bananas? - If you ask me that question one more time, I'll nail your tongue to the counter! - Do you have any nails? - No,I don't. - Do you have any bananas?

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.

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