Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.

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Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes? The police thought it was a cereal killer.

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Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob? A: The blowjob. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob.

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A policeman caught a mischievous little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other. "Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, innocent creature I shall personally do to you." "In that case," said the boy, "I'll give it lots of chocolates as well as all my money and let it go."

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What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon? "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"

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