Alcohol doesn't make you FAT... it makes you LEAN... against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people!
 418
0  

A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
 450
0  

Yo mamma so ugly when she was walking to the bank. They turned of the security cameras.
 412
0  

What do you call an ugly rabbit that sits on someone's forehead? Unsightly facial hare.
 376
0  

Yo mama breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck.
 390
0