A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk."
Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
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Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
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Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you’ve been telling people that I’m ugly!"
"Oh NO! I’ve just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive."
"I also heard that you’ve been calling me fat?"
"Oh NO! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are."
"I’ve also heard that you’re saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!"
"Oh NO! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
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Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
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Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom.