During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the Bishop with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the Bishop looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her brea ... read more

Q: What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A: A new last name.

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you'r ... read more

A dentist, an electrician, and a carpenter decide to play a practical joke their best friend on his wedding night. "I'll loosen some joints on his bed so it collapses when he's making love," says the carpenter. "I'll hot wire his mattress so they'll feel immense heat while making love," says the electrician. "Those are good ideas," says the dentist. "But my contribution's going to be a real surprise." The next day the new husband comes to the diner to meet his friends. He says "I congratulate you guys for making the bed heat up and collapse, but I'm gonna kill whichever one of you put no ... read more

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"